The North Ridge Buzzard

9mm Blast Silenced, Wiffleball Movie Next

2007-08-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard (which is all but out of business) has learned "9mm Blast" has been pulled from production. The movie was originally expected to hit the big screen in the Summer of 2008. Now it seems the movie "Wiffleball" will take center stage. More info as we get it.

"9mm Blast" Production Halted

2007-07-26T12:32:00.001-07:00

The Buzzard regrets to inform anyone who may still check this site that the filming of "9mm Blast" has been delayed due to legal issues. The movie is now expected to be released in the Summer of 2009 according to sources. "We were really looking forward to this coming out soon. All of us kids thought it would be bigger than the Harvey Potter books and movies," according to a local 12 year old. (photo: film crews are forced to shut down and head for the ground)

Highlights of Rounds 1-3 of the Hershey Bears Calder

2007-06-14T20:15:00.001-07:00

THE BUZZARD WILL BE BACK FOR SUMMER

2007-03-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard is scheduled to be back up and running for late spring or early summer. The Buzzard has also purchased the website www.northridgebuzz.com in order to attract additional views.
Expect coverage in the field from Raf, Jr.
Expect coverage on "The Wiffles" and the name the band contest.
Expect coverage on Graduation parties.
Until Summer, check back as we post some of the favorite pictures of 2006.

Eskimo Plunge Set for Feb. 3, 2007

2007-01-04T16:01:00.000-08:00

WHP Radio and Applebees announced the 2007 Eskimo Plunge will be held on February 3, 2007 to benefit Special Olympics. Sign-up begins at 9:30 AM and the plunge takes place at high noon.

The Buzzard Interviews Hockey Legend

2006-12-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Buzzard President Kevin Bixby had the honor of interviewing hockey legend Ray Getliffe. The London, Ontario resident is the oldest living winner of the Stanley Cup. Getliffe was born in 1914 and won Stanley Cups with both the Boston Bruins and Montreal Canadiens. He also was one of Canada's top golfers, playing in two Canadian Opens in the 1930's.
The interview will be published in a future Hershey Bears game program as a part of the "Where Are They Now?" series. Getliffe only played 4 games with the Bears in 1939.He was sent down from Boston as a part of a rehab assignment for an injured knee. Getliffe also spent time in Hershey when the Bruins held their Fall camp in Central Pennsylvania in 1938. The Bears are slated to play their 5000 game Wednesday evening in Albany.

How Bad Was the Strawberry Beer?

2006-12-15T01:56:00.000-08:00

HORRIBLE

Five days after the exchange and it is no better. The strawberry beer was horrible. There is a good chance remnants of the case will still linger when wiffleball season opens in May 2007. Beer and strawberries sounds like a bad mix from the beginning. According to newcomer Jeff, "This guy brings this crap and in return gets good beer? No wonder he didn't show up." You may recall Moran's beer Xingha also rated as the worst beer in the 2005 Exchange. "The only thing worse than this beer is Morrow's batting average," admitted Moran in an exclusive interview.
According to Engleberg, "We have decided to drop the complicated application process and concentrat on getting Moran to bring a better beer. I am leaning toward Morrow having to certify and recommend his selection for 2007."
(photos: George reacts to his first sip of Strawberry Wheat Beer. Engleberg moments before a strawberry vomit.)

North Ridge's Own Exotic Dancing Elf

2006-12-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

Just when neighbors were beginning to become a little worried about Rafael's toned down behavior, The Buzzard has uncovered a shocking story. While The Buzz is reporting on last week's North Ridge Beer Exchange, The Buzzard has learned Rafael is earning a little extra money for the holidays be performing as "The Exotic Dancing Elf" at office parties.
"Once again, The Buzzard has gone undercover to break a great story. It appears he is especially busy the time of the year and has rented a dog from the local pound," according to a statement released by The Buzzard Investigative Team.
"I think he really looks good in that outfit. It is a look I could never pull off," stated Engleberg.
Once again we have proved The Buzzard is the only blog you need for up-to-date local news.
The Buzzard will also be selling photos and booking bachelorette
parties featuring the almost famous 'Exotic Dancing Elf.' Of course photo prices vary by size and The Elf charges by the hour.
The Buzzard always is in good taste and has decided not to publish the photos that were taken 25 minutes after this one - once the party really got started.

THIS IS A TEST, ONLY A TEST

2006-12-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BLOG PUBLISHING SYSTEM, THIS IS ONLY A TEST. IF THERE WAS A REAL BLOG PUBLISHING EMERGENCY YOU WOULD RECEIVE IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON THIS PORTION OF THE BLOG. THIS IS ONLY A TEST*

*Please note, this is a random picture and has nothing to do with anything.

2006 North Ridge Beer Exchange

2006-12-10T23:28:00.000-08:00

The 2006 North Ridge Beer Exchange is history. There was no unshoveling. There was no Santa running down the street getting hit by snowballs. There was no putting a neighbors house up for sale. There was no obnoxious late night Christmas caroling. Finally, there was no Chuck Moran. The 2006 event proved to be a relaxing and enjoyable evening. It seems all too apparent that Moran quietly was the instigator of previous ill-fated events in the neighborhood.
The 2006 Exchanged kicked off with each member trying some Belguim-style Ale (Three Philospohers-pictured above). From there the group swapped out the beers and began testing the fine selection.

The 2nd Annual Beer Exchange Top 5
1. Top Beer - Edmund Fitzgerald Porter (Calzada)
2. Worst Beer - Strawberry Wheat Ale
3. Best Dress - Mike Frutsche
4. Most Surprising No-show- Pastor Dan
5. Top Drinker - Chris Morrow

The Buzzard will publish individual articles on each of the participants - a beer report card so to speek. We will also have a special blog on the now infamous Strawberry Wheat Beer.

Report Card: Jeff

2006-12-10T12:38:00.000-08:00

Jeff lives at the crossroads of Regal View and Skyline View. It is still unclear what side he will support in the ongoing battles between the two factions.
For his initial beer exchange, Jeff went with the popular Yuengling variety pack. The pack includes the less popular but better beers Lord Chesterfield and Black & Tan.

Report Card: Mike

2006-12-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

Mike was clearly the best dressed for the annual event, borrowing a sweater and necklace from his wife. Mike also sported a lightup beer cap that completed the outfit. Mike got his first taste of the neighborhood at last year's event and couldn't wait to attend this years gathering.
Mike brought a Samual Adams Winter Ale along with some Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. The beers proved to be a nice combination"I wanted to go with an east coast - west coast type case. It keeps everybody happy."

Report Card: Rafael

2006-12-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Very well behaved.

Rafael scored the top spot with the Cleveland brewed Edmund Fitzgerald Porter. It is the second year in a row Raf has brought a beer from the Cleveland area. Both entries scored very well.

In breaking news, Calzada has pledged to take part in the February Polar Eskimo Challenge in the Susquehanna River.

Report Card: Chuck

2006-12-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

Chuck came through a second year in a row with a quality beer- selecting Smithwicks. The beer was well received and scored high marks from the beer judges. Chuck went with an old school Pittsburgh Steelers Jack Lambert jersey- showing he will stick with the Steelers even if they are the worst team in the NFL.
Chuck quietly started the controversy over the Strawberry Wheat Ale with two simple sentences. "This doesn't smell right" followed by the infamous "This is bad."
The rest is history....

Report Card: Bread Dip Bixby

2006-12-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

It was tragic. If you left too early, you missed it. Bread Dip did the unthinkable. It was midnight in the Engleberg garage and things were winding down. Rather than make two trips, Bread Dip tried to balance the remains of the bread dip tray on a case a beer. The box gave way sending broken glass and bread dip everywhere.
"I no longer deserve the name. How could I drop it? I will never forgive myself, " stated Bixby
Shiner Bock was the beer selection from Bixby. A beer that is seldom seen in Central Pennsylvania but is popular in the South and some parts of North Dakota. The beer faired well with the North Ridge participants.

Report Card: George

2006-12-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

The quote rang out throughout the night, "George dropped another plate on the floor, watch the backdoor." Nobody seemed to understand what it meant, but it seemed disturbing anyway.
When The Buzzard asked for a comment, George's only response was "I'm behind all of these guys and that is all you need to know."
From the beer front, George made an excellent choice with the Newport Storm - Hurricane Amber Ale. The beer made the top 3 according to beer judges Morrow and Bixby.
The soft spoken and shy George indicated he will be trying to get a monthly poker game off the ground in 2007. Of course, the Penn State - Tennessee football game was also a topic of conversation at the 2nd Annual Beer Exchange.

Report Card: A.J.

2006-12-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

A.J. decided to be fashionable late to his initial beer exchange. The rookie beer exchanger had to take care of some business in or around Harrisburg prior to attending the event. Once the streets of Dauphin County were cleaned up , A.J. was in route to Carlisle.
"I think we should start calling him A.J. Hooker, like the former TV cop show T.J. Hooker. You know the one with William Shatner," according to Morrow
A.J. arrival was accompanied by a case of Saranac's 12 Beers of Winter. The selection rated well with the group.
A.J seemed to loose a little credibility when he endorsed the Strawberry Wheat Ale as a quality beer. He quickly retracted the statement, but it was too late.

Report Card: Morrow

2006-12-10T11:51:00.000-08:00

As much as The Buzzard hates to admit it, Morrow got it right this year. Morrow brought along the popular and tasty Old Leghumper. The selection may have taken the top spot, but since Morrow was a beer judge, the beer was disqualified.
The Leghumper seemed to win over each drinker, even those who do not like a darker brand of beer.
Making the evening even more surprising was Morrow's refusal to bite on any of the anti-Beatles trash talk thrown around by Dr. Kevin Bixby.
Morrow also walked away with the top drinker award as it seemed apparent that he probably had a few prior to his arrival at the 2nd Annual North Ridge Beer Exchange.

Report Card: Engelberg

2006-12-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hours before the 2nd Annual Beer Exchange Engleberg decided to knock out a wall to give the boys a little extra room. Engelberg did an excellent job showing his carpentery skills. The Buzzard , however, wishes Engleberg put as muchtime and effort into his beer selection - ButtMonkey Ale. The Wilkes-Barre beer appears to have been produced by the same crew that brought us Lionshead.
After some organizational issues and some doubts if he would ever get the 2nd Exchange off the ground- he came through. Plenty of manly food and give Engelberg a big thumbs up for purchasing a backup case (Yuengling) for the event.

The Beer Exhange- One Year Later

2006-12-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

The Buzzard has uncovered four previously unpublished photos from the 2005 Beer Exchange held in North Ridge. Due to mismanagement by Engleberg, details for the 2nd Annual North Ridge Beer Exchange appear unclear. To date, The Buzzard has determined Lori has squashed any attempt by Chuck to attend. High Ball Chuck, on the other hand, is ready to go and promises to be in rare form (if the event ever gets off the ground). Local kids have contacted The Buzzard to request evening beer caroling like 2005 (if the event ever gets off the ground).
If the event happens, the question remains who will play the role of Santa Claus.

The Buzzard Announce Beer Selections

2006-12-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

The Buzzard has selected Shiner Bock will The Buzz has selected Lancaster Strawberry Ale for the 2nd Annual North Ridge Beer Exchange. However, the event has been hampered by the mismanagement of Dave 'Engelberg' Orr. According to AJ Somma, " I submitted the application some time ago and I haven't heard a thing. This thing has been very poorly run from the beginning."
Orr could not be reached for comment. According to Dr. Kevin Bixby, "This has become a joke. How am I suppose to prepare my famous bread dip if Orr has fallen off the face of the earth."

Santa Arrives at 5:37 PM

2006-12-04T03:24:00.000-08:00

Numerous North Ridge Families welcomed Santa at the North Middleton Township Complex for the annual tree lighting ceremony. The Crestview Elementary 4th and 5th grade chorus welcomed Santa as he arrived on a North Middleton firetruck.

Lori Bans Chuck From Beer Exchange

2006-12-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

The North Ridge Buzzard received a tip last week that Chuck Moran was close to being banned from the 2nd Annual Beer Exchange. The Buzzard investigative team went into action to determine if Moran would be allowed to attend the annual event. "We got a tip from one of his close neighbors who indicated there was a strong possiblity Moran would not be permitted to attend. The neighbor (who we will call Chris) stated there was evidence in the kitchen area which inicated Chuck was close to being denied access to the party," according the a Buzzard investigative reporter.
"We sent a junior reporter in with an undercover camera and she was able to obtain the above
picture. So I think it is clear - Chuck will not be at the event. We expect Chuck will come up with some reason why he can't attend the can't miss party of the year, " stated the Buzzard.

(Photos: undercover photo of the Moran frig.... undercover camera used to obtain the photo.)

NR Wiffle at the Baseball Hall of Fame

2006-12-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

The North Ridge Wiffleball Association goes to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. NRWBA President Dr. Kevin Bixby presented the Hall with an official game used 2006 Wiffle Ball. Hall officials immediately placed the artifact over the locker of famed Yankee slugger Lou Gehrig. President Bixby (pictured above) was also asked to discuss the importance of Wiffle Ball in North America. A crowd of 47 attended the discussion which also included a question and answer session.
"We are pleased the ball will be on display thru December 8th at the Hall. Of course, we expected it to be displayed with or around Babe Ruth artifacts, but Lou Gehrig is certainly special for us. This really puts North Ridge Wiffle Ball on the map," according to Bixby
NRWBA records indicate this ball was used in numerous events, including:

Chris Morrow singled to right with this ball, breaking a 0-13 streak
Rafael record setting homerun distance ball
Believed to be the ball from the infamous "Cat Fight"
Skyler hit his 4th homer in a game with this ball

The Hall is slated to send the ball back by special courier so it will be present for any neighborhood events on or about Decemeber 9th. The Ball will be returned to the Hall on December 11th.

Young Rafael Sets New Energy Drink Record

2006-11-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

It was a record Trish would never approve of. It seemed almost crazy to try. What started as a record setting attempt quickly became a disturbing situation. Young Rafael drank four Mountain Dew Fuels to set a new world record. After checking with worldwide authorities The Buzzard announced "We have confirmed it is a record for an individual under 15 years old. The can clearly indicates the recommended 'dose' for an adult is 2 cans. Young Rafael clearly exceeded the adult dose."
With his uncle and father watching, Rafael began the feat at 9:37 PM on Saturday and plowed through 4 cans in little over 22 minutes.
According to a visiting adult named Harvey, "First I was pulling for the kid and then I read the warning on the can. Next I wondered where the adult supervision was. This seemed to be a very dangerous stunt. I couldn't believe his father was cheering him on. I don't know what is going on in North Ridge, but it doesn't seem right."
The Buzzard in no way encouraged the record setting soda drinking.

www.northridgebuzzard.com

2006-11-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks for your tremendous support of The Buzzard - you have made it the #1 blog in Carlisle. On November 25th The Buzzard received 1102 page views. Now for some great news.
Forget the crazy and confusing Blogspot.com web address. Forget having to worry about a web address without the www beginning. All too confusing. Thanks to the continued support of The Buzzard readers, you can now use our new and improved web address:

www.northridgebuzzard.com

Wiffle Ball Experience Helps Maryland Football Player

2006-11-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

The River Hill football team is on a great run. The Maryland High School Football team is 11-0 and knocked off Severna Park this weekend to grab the 3A East Championship on Friday night. Led by the blocking of Captain Zach Robinson, the Hawks dismantled the Falcons 48-10 while picking up 262 yards on the ground.
Why is this being reported in the pages of The Buzzard?
Flashback to Labor Day Weekend 2006. David Orr suggested to the Robinson family it would be beneficial to have Zach come out to workout with the North Ridge Wiffle Ball Association players. "I know Zach's senior year would be important. I thought it would be good for the young man to see how real athletes prepare for competition. I wanted Zach to see that being intense could also be fun. I am sure the day spent in North Ridge was the turning point of the River Hill football season," Commented Orr.
"We get a lot of requests like this every season and usually outright refuse them," according to North Ridge Wiffle Ball President Dr. Kevin Bixby. "But Dave said this was a nice kid who could really benefit from being around seasoned professionals- even if it was just for a day. So we bent the rules just this one time. Oddly enough, I think his sister actually hit more homers that day. Well anyway, I am glad to get such positive reports on his progress."

I'll take a Happy Meal and a Million Dollars, Please

2006-11-25T01:08:00.000-08:00

First there was the eye-opening revelation that McDonald's had seen coffee burn injuries many times before. Company documents showed that in the past decade McDonald's had received at least 700 reports of coffee burns ranging from mild to third degree, and had settled claims arising from scalding injuries for more than $500,000.

Then there were the lawsuits that claimed McDonald's was making the youth of America overweight and generally unhealthy. Product liability?, Personal Injury? Whatever you call it, it was big money.

Now there is litigation against McDonalds Corporation for misrepresentations concerning the ingredients of their french fries. Can it be that mass quanitity of french fries are bad for you?

If you suffered illness as a result of eating french fries, and you have medical documentation that you have been diagnosed with an allergy to wheat or dairy products or you have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease you may be in line for a large product liability settlement. McDonald's faces multiple lawsuits that each claim the fast-food giant misled the public after it acknowledged that its french fries contain milk and wheat ingredients. Bad news for vegitarians like myself.

These McDonald's lawsuits seem to be more popular than the accidents , Mesothelioma, wrongful death and medical malpractice claims which have become common place in the USA.
(Photo: Engleberg displays a Canadian McDonalds Fy Container)

North Ridge Kids Dominate Local News

2006-11-22T18:17:00.000-08:00

The question begs to be asked...Would the Carlisle Patriot News have anything to report on if it wasn't for the youth of North Ridge? The local kids dominated the November 22-28 edition of the newspaper. Becky recovered from an ankle injury to help the Thundering Herd to a 3rd place finish at the ACCs in Moosic, PA.
The local Wilson Middle School kids also performed well in the classroom. Picking up Distinguished Honors were Ulrich, Skyler, Lauren and Sarah. Honors went to Chick Magnet David, Toilet Ball inventor Rafael and Bryce.
"We pride ourselves in North Ridge as a community which balances the classroom with wiffleball," according to Dr. Kevin Bixby, President of the NRWBSAO (North Ridge Wiffle Ball Student Athlete Organization). "The NRWBSAO is very pleased with the future leaders we are shaping."
In Other News..... It appears Engleberg is close to dropping the ball on the Beer Exchange. The Buzzard has been unable to contact Engleberg. It appears the Exchange is falling apart quicker than the 2006 Philadelphia Eagles... The North Ridge Buzz is back to its old ways with 15 straight non-North Ridge stories...Has anybody heard from Chris Morrow? He would be devistated if the Exchange is cancelled...The Buzzard has learned that Rafael is grounded and may not be able to attend the Exchange anyway....A special thanks to Mike F. for attending the Carlisle concert of the Brad Fuller and Flashback at The Cave...Consider a $20 New Years Eve Show with Brad Fuller & Flashback in Mechanicsburg. The Buzzard will pick up the first round!...Happy Thanksgiving.
(Current issue of the Carlisle Patriot News. Becky can be seen on the right side of the cover photo -click on photo to see it enlarged)

Moran Smarter Than We Expected

2006-11-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

Maybe Moran has figured something out. Maybe Moran isn't as dumb as Engleberg once thought. Is it possible? While Bixby is cutting the grass, while Engleberg is driving to Mansfield and while Rafael is vacuuming, cooking, laundry, painting, cleaning toilets and washing windows, Moran is travelling the good old USA.
The Dickinson ladies finished an empressive 6th this weekend in Ohio. The Buzzard doesn't know much about cross country running so it might be best to check out Moran's Central Pennsylvania Runner website for all of the details. "It seems a 6th place finish at Nationals is pretty impressive but I find it hard to believe Moran had anything to do with it," stated George Teague of North Ridge. Lori could not be reached for comment.
(photo: Far right, Moran with the Ladies Cross Country Team)

Flashback at "The Cave"

2006-11-18T21:40:00.000-08:00

The Buzzard and several members of North Ridge took time out Saturday night to witness the 2006 Carlisle debut of Flashback at The Cave. North Ridge resident Brad Fuller plays bass for the popular local band. Other members are Donna Mark, Dan Miller, Dick Summers and Mike Sgrignoli. The next public appearance for Flashback is December 9th in Lebanon followed by a New Years Eve performance in Mechanicsburg.
Flashback played four set which lasted well into Sunday morning. Some North Ridge crowd favorites included "Memphis", "Don't Dream it's Over", "Nights in White Satin" and the cover of the Greg Kihn classic " Breakup Song." However, the unanimous number one song was "Light My Fire" which was performed in the third set.
"What I like about this band is they mix things up. You go from Crowded House to the Rolling Stones. An added bonus were a few unusual moves on the dancefloor by the patrons," according to Mike Futsche.

The Buzzard's New Challenge

2006-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Two Volunteers Needed for the Lezajsk- Dew Fuel Challenge

The North Ridge Buzzard proudly announces the Lezajsk-Dew Challenge. The Buzzard is looking for two volunteers to relive the event which downed Dr. Kevin Bixby while in London, Ontario over the summer. After drinking a Mountain Dew Fuel followed by a Lezajsk beer, Bixby was incapacitited for 30 minutes.
Background on the beverages: Mountain Dew Fuel is sold only in Canada. An energy drink with a punch. The drink is illegal in the USA and The Buzzard was able to smuggle several into the States. Mountain Dew Fuel is considered the Cuban cigars of the soft drink industry.
Lezajsk is king among Eastern European Beers (Poland). Obtained from the LCBO in Ontario, the half liter of grog features a ABV of over 5.0%. While Chuck Moran considers this a tremendous beer, experts think otherwise.
Event: The two participants will be required to take a quick-paced walk around the block. They then will have to drink a 355ml can of Fuel. Immediately following the Fuel, the participant must drink a full bottle of Lezajsk.
The Reward: If you complete the task within 24 minutes, you will gain automatic entry to the 2006 Beer Exchange. The first two volunteers (email me) will be selected. This is a great chance to drink a quality FREE Polish beer.

Twitchy Helps Future NHL star Ryan Parent

2006-11-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

Caroline took time out this weekend to talk hockey with future NHL star Ryan Parent while travelling through Ontario. Caroline advised the only way to the NHL is through hardwork. Parent seemed to appreciate the advice and vows to be a NHL star. Parent is the number 1 ranked prospect of the Nashville Predators.
Just this summer, Caroline spoke with Canadian lacrosse star John Grant Jr prior to the gold medal game at the World Championships in London, Ontario. Grant responded with two goals and a gold medal. Canadian athletes are actively seeking the advise of the 10 year old North Ridge resident.

More on Ryan Parent from the Guelph Mercury Newspaper....

GUELPH -- A first-round NHL draft pick. A member of Canada's gold medal-winning junior team. Dashing good looks and he picks a mean tune on the guitar. It's good to be Ryan Parent these days. The 19-year-old Guelph Storm defenceman has had a whirlwind year, starting when he was selected by the Nashville Predators 18th overall last summer.

Crestview Elementary Honors Military

2006-11-13T05:44:00.000-08:00

Crestview Elementary honored both Veterans and current military with a ceremony last Thursday. The North Ridge community was well represented at the afternoon event which included students and parents of Crestview Elementary. Included from the North Ridge community were members of the Shimandle, Frutsche, Somma, Hoss and Bixby families.
The one hour ceremony included tributes to Veterans and featured songs by the talented Crestview students.

Keep Your Sidewalk Safe or Pay $90,000

2006-11-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

With Winter and snow covered walkways approaching, I thought this article would be of interest for North Ridge residents.

A plaintiff alleged that she tripped and fell on a sidewalk which was not safely maintained by the defendant. The defendant denied that the cracks in the sidewalk constituted a dangerous condition and argued that the plaintiff was comparatively negligent in causing the fall.

The plaintiff testified that she was walking on a sidewalk, which she traversed on a regular basis, when she fell because of crumbling concrete. The plaintiff's orthopedic surgeon testified that the plaintiff sustained a fractured left wrist among other personal injuries as a result of the fall.

The defendant argued that the cracks in the sidewalk did not constitute a dangerous condition, that they were open and obvious and should have been avoided by the plaintiff. The plaintiff used this sidewalk on an almost daily basis.

The case was tried as a bench trial with a net verdict for the plaintiff in the amount of $90,000. Of course the personal injury lawyer takes his or her 40% of this settlement.

(Another in an informational article on Personal Injury, Product Liability, medical malpractice and current class action lawsuits)

Flashback at "The Cave" on November 18

2006-11-11T20:10:00.000-08:00

Flashback, including North Ridge resident Brad Fuller, are slated to play at McKay's Cave on Spring Road on November 18th. The show is expected to kickoff around 9:30 and is expected to last well into the evening.
As all North Ridge residents know, Fuller portraited a classic Elvis at the 2006 Halloween Gala at the Calzadas.
Take a moment out the check out their extensive songlist. Flashback may play anything from Crowded House to Led Zeppelin.
The Buzzard is happy to announce the first round of drinks will be picked up by Engleberg.
So make sure you come out to see Flashback on November 18th.

31 Years Ago Today... Novemeber 10, 1975

2006-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD

Is the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald really have anything to do with North Ridge? If you know me, it certainly does. As my singing career takes off, I am already booked to sing the classic Gordon Lightfoot song at the graduation party of my next door neighbor Melissa.

The Fitzgerald cleared Superior, Wisconsin, on her last trip on November 9, 1975, with a cargo of 26,116 tons of taconite pellets consigned to Detroit. Traveling down Lake Superior in company with ARTHUR M. ANDERSON of the United States Steel Corporation's Great Lakes Fleet, she encountered heavy weather and in the early evening of November 10th, suddenly foundered approximately 17 miles from the entrance to Whitefish Bay (47º North Latitude, 85º 7' West Longitude)

Captain McSorley of the "FITZ" had indicated he was having difficulty and was taking on water. She was listing to port and had two of three ballast pumps working. She had lost her radar and damage was noted to ballast tank vent pipes and he was overheard on the radio saying, "don't allow nobody (sic) on deck." McSorley said it was the worst storm he had ever seen. All 29 officers and crew, including a Great Lakes Maritime Academy cadet, went down with the ship, which lies broken in two sections in 530 feet of water.

Calzadas Confused By Time Change

2006-11-09T15:59:00.000-08:00

The Halloween party was on October 28, 2006, correct? Of course, last weekend marks the one hour change in the clock. Seems pretty simple doesn't it? So what exactly is going on the the Calzada home? Take a close look at this picture of Alan Rafael. Right over his right shoulder is a calender which appears to indicate it is January 2007. Why? Is it possible they asked Etsweiler for help? Are they trying to rip the kids off by skipping Christmas? Did the time change confuse them that much? The Calzada's are currently planning their Thanksgiving for mid- February.

Русское просмотрение северной зиги

2006-11-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

When it was announced The Buzzard folded, I received only 7 emails asking why the blog was ending. Six were from people you probably know. However, one was from a Russian youth. To be honest, I can't understand what it even says but some of the names are familiar. It appears to be legit as the email had the Russian .ru at the end of the address. Young Andrei included his picture. I have been able to determine Togliatti is home of the Russian Lada automobile, I never expected for The Buzzard to be seen in Russia. But this one letter from a Russian kid has inspired me to continue. If any of you know Russian or somebody who does- please translate the article. - Dr. Kevin Bixby

"Engleberg имеет запах ноги. Chuck Moran будет ишаком. Chris Morrow не знает первую вещь о пиве. Почему пребывание Rafael на моем расквартировывает всю ночу? Frutsche смотрит придурковатым томит танцуя обмундирование.Некоторые из малышей района делают меня слабонервно. Я думаю Trish смогло побить Jodi в драке кулачка. Chris оплатило дороге too much деньг для светов на его поле.Кажется, что имеет McMurdy потеху когда он выпивает. Так это намеревается он должно выпить больше водочки.Гулять для тренировки придурковат" - Andrei Kovalenko , Age 11, Tolgliatti, Russia

NORTH RIDGE BUZZARD FOLDS

2006-11-06T15:28:00.000-08:00

BUZZARD Shuts Doors After 80 Posts

"This will mark the final posting from the neighborhood blog - The Buzzard. We have accomplished our original goal of bringing Chuck Moran's North Ridge Buzz back to a community based site. If you remember, The Buzz went well over 20 postings without a North Ridge related story. How times have changed. Now, The Buzz is good for 1 or 2 local stories a week. Another goal was to promote and cover wiffleball in North Ridge. We are coming of a great year complete with a season ending banquet. Both of our goals have been reached.
"The Buzzard has also has also suffered from decreased revenue from it's many sponsors and has been unable to keep up with the rising costs of running a professional website. Thank you."

North Ridge Hires "Crack Inspector"

2006-11-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

The Buzzard has learned that North Ridge has hired a "Crack Inspector" to help eliminate the growing problem of plumber's rear. According to a local official, "We couldn't wait until the elections next week to have somebody in place for this important position. We feel Mike Frutsche is the right guy to eliminate the growing crack problem which has plagued the Skyline View section of North Ridge. Frutsche isn't afraid to dig in."
Frutsche, a accomplished dancer, is expected to investigate all reports of crack and hopes to have the problem eliminated shortly. "We are especially concerned any time this individual wears jeans. We are expecting a full moon this weekend. I am hoping the individual will start wearing a leotard or jump suit. Actually, I have a leotard or two in the closet that he can use. I am getting the most pressure from his wife to get this situation under control."

Bunco Night at the Bixby's

2006-11-03T19:10:00.000-08:00

Ginger wins $20
Stacey wins $10
Amy wins $5
Penny wins $5

Bunco expert Ginger comes to North Ridge and wipes out the neighborhood ladies. The regular crew played a hard fought three rounds of Bunco. Main topics of discussion included the politics of Wal-Mart, trick or treat festivities, why Rafael does the dishes while Trish watches TV and the development of North Ridge.

The $700,000 Test Drive

2006-11-01T15:49:00.000-08:00

A 50-year-old porter for a Chrysler dealer who was test-driving a brand new vehicle had a high-speed accident in which he suffered serious personal injury, including head trauma. A subsequent inspection of the car by the dealer revealed that Chrysler had failed to connect the brake line, which caused the brakes to fail when the porter tried to use them. Here comes the lawsuit....

During the case, the dealer offered evidence in favor of the porter and against Chrysler because its inspection of the vehicle revealed the problem with the brakes and demonstrated that Chrysler was in fact responsible for its employee's injuries. With the help of an attorney the case settled on the eve of trial for $700,000. Claim closed.

Another in legal public service article on personal injury, lawsuits, medical malpractice and class action lawsuits. And in this case a product liability case.

Trick-or-Treat in North Ridge

2006-10-31T17:39:00.000-08:00

Halloween in North Ridge. There was plenty of candy for the kids but not enough beer for the adults. A quick rundown. The Morrows provided Yuengling, the Morans provided Old Leg Humper, Frutsche to a break from listening to Manilli Vanilli to provide a nice assortment of beverages. The Bixbys provided Shiner 97 Bohemian Lager while the Orrs and Calzadas provided nothing. That's right NOTHING.
When Chuck McMurdy arrived at the darkened Calzada house he peered through the window to see Trish relaxing watching TV while Rafael labored cleaning dishes (as you can see in the exclusive picture, there is a dish towel over Rafael's right shoulder). Much like the Halloween party at midnight- no beer.
The most creative home was clearly the residence of the Shimandle family. Each member of the family expertly carved a pumpkin (see an example above).
The Buzzard now fully endorses the membership of one Chris Morrow in the Beer Exchange in December. Morrow was ready for adult trick-or treaters and provided the coldest beer in town.

A Few Halloween Party Photos & Captions

2006-10-30T15:28:00.000-08:00

"ARGHH, Who among us floated the air mead?"

"AHHHHHHHHH, I'm going to Rillo's"

"Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant (bleep) to me, you see he was straight up racist" - From Fight the Power (1990)
....Public Enemy

"I can't believe we are out of beer and there's no car bombs"

"You're just in time for the 8PM viewing of Swan Lake - featuring me"

Moments before we were asked to leave the Holiday Inn

Only Lori finds Chuck amusing

Elvis discovers we are out of beer, bringing the party to a crashing halt

You Have One Life Do Something
Let's Call Somebody

Regal View Gangstas

Engleberg Blows Away the Competition

2006-10-29T22:23:00.000-08:00

Engleberg easily wins the 1st ever North Ridge Bubble Blowing contest. Coming in a distant second was Tammy, followed by Bread Dip. Keep an eye out later this week for additional pictures and stories from the Halloween Party hosted by Trish and Alan.

My College Roomie Leads the Fight Against Merck

2006-10-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

Photo: Kevin Bixby (far left) and Dave Buchanan (far right) pictured as members of the University of Delaware's top beer pong team circa 1989
Believe it or not, the former college roomate of editor Dr. Kevin Bixby leads the fight against Merck. David Buchanan (who learned a lot from me) is a partner with Seeger Weiss of New York City. He was also involved in lawsuits against Vioxx, Apple Computers, IBM , Daimler and even Martha Stewart. Here is a little more info on the recent Fosamax case

A New York based lawfirm announced earlier this year that it is investigating claims against Merck & Co. (NYSE:MRK - News) for Fosamax-related injuries, including reports of osteonecrosis of the jaw. Fosamax, marketed by Merck, is indicated for the treatment and prevention of osteoporosis (thinning of the bones) in men and women. Recent studies, however, suggest a link between the use of bisphosphonates, such as Fosamax, and osteonecrosis of the jaw, also known as "jaw death.'' This condition is associated with the interference of the blood supply to the bone and the consequential damage that occurs. Osteonecrosis of the jaw can be extremely painful and may lead to additional complications, such as infection, breakdown of the jawbone, and ulcerations in the lining of the mouth. It is not known if ceasing the use of Fosamax can lower the risk of osteonecrosis of the jaw, as the bisphosphonate medications metabolize slowly and remain in the bones for many years.

This is another in a serious of stories on personal injury, malpractice and related articles.

Calzada Close to Buying New Custom Vehicle

2006-10-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard has learned Rafael is currently in intense negotiations to purchase a new custom vehicle. It is believe Calzada previously damaged his Purple Chevrolet by driving into a snow bank last December and is looking to trade in the auto. The auto has severe undercarriage damage.
Calzada is attempting to buy a sporty family wagon (pictured). "If I can purchase the vehicle, I will take great pride in driving Natasha and my son to school every day," said Calzada. "This is the car I have dreamt of since my days back in Ponce."

German Folk Art Show Planned

2006-10-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

The North Ridge Buzzard is proud to announce the 1st Annual "Old World German Folk Art Festival" to be held at the residence of Mike Frutsche. Leading the festivities is Mike's Mother who was born in Germany and later came to the United States in 1957.
Participants will learn how to make arts, crafts and other objects out of simple every day objects like a dish towel.
"I am looking forward to this event. I haven't been able to make anything good since my father tossed my Erector set in 1983," stated Rafael Calzada. "I'm really getting excited about it."
The festival is believe to be the biggest German festival ever held in the North Ridge community.
(Photos: Festival Director enjoys a laugh as she practices one of the many crafts she will be demonstrating at the event)

Who Really Won the NFL Challenge?

2006-10-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard has learned through a credible source that Lori did not complete her own ballot for the final round of The North Ridge Buzzard NFL Challenge. It is believed the winning ballot was actually completed by her son.
The Buzzard tried to reach the youngest male member of the family, but he was believed to have been practicing "toilet ball" at the restroom at Sheetz on Harrisburg Pike.
It was also learned Lori has suffered a serious foot injury and could be seen using crutches to get around her home. The Buzzard staff wishes Lori a speedy recovery.

I've Fallen and Can't Get Up - for Less than $675k

2006-10-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

I wonder if this lady increased her weekly donation to church?
Another is a serious of public service articles by The Buzzard....
A 53-year-old woman fell on stairs leading to her church that had been rebuilt a few days earlier. However, the stairs were excessively steep and lacked a handrail, in violation of a Cook County ordinance. As a result of her fall, the woman sustained multiple leg fractures, which required several surgeries, and she is now required to use a walker.

Although the woman was initially reluctant to file suit against her church, an attorney was able to convince her that a lawsuit was in her best interest. According to the attorney, "I could appreciate the fact that my client did not want to file a lawsuit against a church which she had been a member of for many years. However, when I explained to her that she would most likely never be able to work again, that her medical bills would be huge, and that any recovery she received would be covered by the church's insurance company, it made her realize that a lawsuit was the best answer for her and her family. The woman was particularly pleased that I was able to settle the case without a messy and bitter trial." Ultimately, the case settled for $675,000.

Wiffle Ball Season Officially Concludes

2006-10-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

It's over. The third wiffleball season has officially ended with the removal of the outfield fence at Buzzard Field in North Ridge. The 2006 season was ended with a wildly entertaining banquet. In case you missed it, Trish was named the 2006 MVP. This weekend the field was expertly dismantled by two senior groundskeepers and a new junior groundskeeper.
"As usual, when the summer is over, everybody splits and leaves all of the work to the Bixbys and the Orrs. They play ball in our field and Rafael urinates in our pool, but when it is time to get ready for Fall everybody disappears. Rafael always seems to head to Ohio for a well timed vacation, " stated head groundskeeper Engelberg.
The youngest Orr did an excellent job cutting the entire field while avoiding numerous obstacles. "It was funny, it was the middle of the day , I thought it was sunny, but I kept thinking or imagining I saw the moon," according the younger Orr.
It is believed surveying has begun behind the Skyline View properties, so it is unclear if the 2007 season will take place at Buzzard Field. If the 2007 season is forced to move to Morrow Field there will need to be some modifications according to President Dr. Kevin Bixby. "First of all he has a sod problem over there, too much loose sod. Somebody is going to get hurt. Also, I think he will need to put another $2500 into the facility to upgrade the lighting system. Otherwise, I think the field will be just fine."

North Ridge Kids Don't Smoke

2006-10-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

Smoke Cigarettes and loose your Tongue

Nearly one in every five deaths in the United States is smoking related, and tobacco use results in annual medical costs of more than $75 billion.
Children are particularly susceptible to cigarette advertising, particularly when smoking is shown as a rite of passage into adulthood. The vast majority of adult smokers started before they were 18 years old. When tempted to start smoking, most children think that they will have no trouble quitting, but most smokers become physically unable to quit because cigarettes contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive drug. Once addicted, children continue to smoke as adults and eventually suffer from smoking–related illnesses.
Juries across the country have started to hold the cigarette industry responsible for their actions. For example, A jury held three cigarette companies liable for $37.5 million in a tobacco lawsuit involving an ex–smoker who lost his tongue to tobacco–related oral cancer.Also a U.S. District Court awarded $15 million in punitive damages against R.J. Reynolds Tobacco, calling the company’s conduct “highly blameworthy and deserving of significant punishment.”
To date, personal injury lawyers have filed one zillion lawsuits against the tocacco industry for wrongful death. Attorneys have earned tons of money on the back of injuried tobacco users of all ages.
(Photo: Believe it or not, the above picture is of a 33 year old female who has smoked since she was twelve.)

Lori edges Jodi in North Ridge Challenge

2006-10-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

11-2 Record Claims Championship

The ladies of North Ridge took the top two spots in the 1st Annual North Ridge Challenge. Lori's 11 wins proved to be just enough to top Jodi's 10. Placing third was Rafael, Sr.

OVERALL RESULTS (Wins)
Lori (11)
Jodi (10)
Rafael, Sr. (9)
Caroline (8)
Mark (8)
Rafael Jr, (7)
Chuck (7)
Chris (7)
Mary (7)
Engelberg (6)

The Buzzard will present Lori with a special gift to commemorate the victory.

North Ridge Kids Introduce "Toilet Ball"

2006-10-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

With the Wiffleball season officially conluded, the kids have taken up a new sport - "Toilet Ball."
The sport was apparently invented in the bathroom of Hoss's during the first ever Wiffleball Banquet.
David Jr, Skyler and Rafael invented the new indoor game on Sunday and the Buzzard was there to witness the event.
"It is like basketball but much tougher. You are in the men's bathroom playing as hard as you can. The smell can be tough, but we have to play in any condition," according to Skyler. "Our second half was tough as somebody obviously had too many beans from the salad bar. But, like I said you just have to play through it."
"I was ready for the game, I have been shooting around in our bathroom for the last week or so. I headed in after my father one time , so that prepared me for anything, " stated Dave Jr.
Rafael serves as official photographer for The Buzzard and obtained several action photos.

Wiffle Ball Banquet Photo Essay

2006-10-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

Calzada Wins 2006 Wiffle Ball MVP

2006-10-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

A crowd of thirty swarmed Hoss's for the greatly anticipated North Ridge Wiffle Ball Association's 1st Annual Banquet. Top honors went to Trish Calzada as she becomes the first female to be named Most Valuable Player in the highly competitive league. Last years winner, Bill Etsweiler was unable to repeat as the leagues top player.
Calzada batted .317 during the season and was considered one of the league's top fielders. "She showed up every week and played hard. Trish was also the most improved player over the 2005 season," stated Chuck Moran. "I think the 'Cat Fight' was probably what got her the extra votes need to win the MVP."
Top homerun hitters for 2006 were Skyler Moran and Caroline Bixby.
___________________________________________________________
Later this week in the Buzzard....The new sport sweeping North Ridge, Toilet Ball

Murder at the Morrows?????

2006-10-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Gangland style violence has shocked the suburban community of North Ridge. Local police have blocked off numerous properties while the investigation continues. Police activity can be witnessed at the homes of the Orrs, Calzadas, Etsweilers and especially the Morrows. At this late hour there are not many details.
"There is police tape everywhere. We have never seen anything like this in North Ridge," stated Buzz Editor Chuck Moran. "This type of violence hits home. We are not sure, but it seems like the most activity has occurred at the home of the Morrows. Something has gone wrong, very wrong."
The Buzzard will continue to follow this breaking story.

Buzzard Football Championship Update

2006-10-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

Earlier this evening The Buzzard distributed ballots to the finalist for the Football Challenge. Added to this weeks ballot is the "total points" for the Monday evening game. This may help in deciding a winner if two or more are tied.
"It there is a tie after Monday and one of them is a winner from the previous week- they will win the championship. Consider it a bonus for winning in the regular season. After that, it will be the closest on total points on Monday. If it is still a tie I will probably pick whoever I like the best. Furthermore, if Lotto Morrow wins, I will personal lobby to have him reinstated in the Beer Exchange in early December, " announced Dr. Kevin Bixby.
As for favorites, "It would be difficult to bet against 'Jellyfish' Calzada. He was a perfect 14-0 last week and will be tough to beat."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Schedule Change.....Wiffleball Banquet will be at 5:30 PM on Sunday (not 6:00 PM as reported in The Buzz)
(Photo: This could be Lotto Morrow's best chance to be reinstated in the Beer Exchange)

Flashback is back with Brad Fuller

2006-10-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

After a 2-year hiatus, Flashback returns to central PA with a new show and two new members. One of the new members is North Ridge resident Brad Fuller.

The five-piece band offers a variety of danceable rock 'n roll, classic rock, blues, and country.
Checkout Flashback on their new website.
Flashback plays this evening at Mechanicsburg Legion 109. The Flashback website has all of the details on this evenings show as well as future shows.
Here is Fuller's bio from the official Flashback site.
Brad Fuller has been in about 10 different bands since learning the guitar and drums at 13. He played drums in "Aries" and guitar in "Standing Room Only." After college, in the mid-late eighties, he played bass in a rock band called "Python" and drums in "Hillbilly Fever," a country-rock band.

Brad moved to Pittsburgh in '90 for a mechanical engineering post with Westinghouse designing nuclear reactors. It's fitting that the band he co-formed, originally playing drums then switching to guitar and bass, be called "The Nuclear Blues Band." That group played Pittsburgh clubs/bars from the mid '90s through 2000.

In 2001, he joined a country, gospel group called "The King's Messenger" and played lead guitar, mandolin and banjo.

BE SAFE: Head North to Canada

2006-10-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

Medical Malpractice Info...
Patients in the United States reported higher rates of medical errors and more disorganized doctor visits and out-of-pocket costs than people in Canada, Britain and three other developed countries, according to a survey released on Thursday.

Thirty-four percent of U.S. patients received wrong medication, improper treatment or incorrect or delayed test results during the last two years, the Commonwealth Fund found.

Thirty percent of Canadian patients reported similar medical errors, followed by 27 percent of those in Australia, 25 percent in New Zealand, 23 percent in Germany and 22 percent in Britain, the health care foundation said.

Calzada a Perfect 14-0, Wins Football Challenge

2006-10-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

Rafael posted a perfected 14-0 record to win the Men's portion of the North Ridge NFL Challenge. Second through fifth is still up in the air with C-Mo, Lotto, Engleberg and Greenaway all finishing with 12 - 2 records. Dr. Bixby pulled up the rear with a 9-5 record. Morrow and Engleberg picked the exact same teams.
It is unclear who will join Calzada to fill out the top
three. "I am sure whatever the Buzzard does, it will be unfair. Hopefully this gets me a little closer to the beer exchange. Either way, I am considering a malpractice lawsuit or something, " suggested Lotto.
(Photo: Calzada shows who is number one in the Men's Football Challenge)

North Ridger takes 2nd in Dillsburg Shootout

2006-10-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

North Ridge resident Caroline participated in the Dillsburg Shootout as a member of the U11 Carlisle Galaxy. The Carlisle team was one of 254 teams from several eastern states.

The Galaxy concluded the tournament with an amazing 2nd place finish. The Galaxy played a total of eight games over Saturday and Sunday. The Galaxy was led by solid defense and timely scoring to make the Sunday afternoon finals.

Oddly enough, the tournament t-shirt will likely never be seen in the hallways of Crestview Elementary. The shirt violates local school district guidelines for appropriate clothing. The tournament logo features two soccer ball characters holding recently fired guns.

(Photos: Caroline in action & Caroline with two of her defensive partners)

Avoiding the Cheesesteak Jinx

2006-10-06T20:45:00.000-07:00

"We're not going there to taste the cheesesteaks. We're not going there to visit the crack in the Liberty Bell," Terrell Owens said. "We're going up there to try to win a ballgame."
Cheesesteaks are important. If you never had a real one, you would never understand. Earlier this evening, while discussing politics and global warning, Dave Orr promised to make a few of his gourmet cheesesteaks. Orr, who is nursing a sore tooth from a right cross from Mary, promised to make a few deluxe Philly-style sandwiches. At 8:17 PM Orr left for home. According to Rafael, "No question he is going to make a few steaks. We are all getting hungry. I've taken care of all the jellyfish. Orrs not drinking. Something has got to give. Dave is a man of his word. If that guy says he is brings food- he is bringing food. Dave doesn't joke about food." Oddly enough, to that point Mr. Orr only drank a single beer.
However, when Dave returned at 10:42 PM, he was without any food. Shocking. Had Dave lied to his friends? "I can't believe it, I even asked him to be my best man at my next wedding. I would never have thought Dave would have lied to us," stated a close friend. At that moment, Rafael and Dr. Kevin Bixby went into action. The Cheesesteak Jinx was born. Calzada and Bixby convinced Orr if he did not immediately make cheesesteaks the Eagles would lose on Sunday. The reason - the Terrell Owens Cheesesteak Jinx. "I am here to taste the cheesesteaks, " stated Bixby.
To his credit, Orr moved the get together to his home and dished up authentic sandwiches that measured over a foot and included peppers, cheese and onions. Rafael plowed through his sandwich in seconds while Dave took his time and savored each bite. With the the sandwiches made and consumed. The Buzzard predicts an Eagles 24-13 win over the Cowboys.
In other news....Trish hosted ladies night out with BUNKO. Earlier reports indicated Chris Morrow was the big winner....Dave Sr, Rafael and Kevin also planned their first trip to visit David, Jr in his college room dorm in the first week of October, 2012.

Still No Decision on Beer Exchange

2006-10-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

Notes from the neighborhood.... Engelberg Orr has not made a final decision on who will attend the December beer exchange. According to Orr, "We will probably have new prospects write a little essay on why they should be included. There is still no formal decision on "Lotto" Morrow"....Men's NFL Challenge were distributed this evening. The completed ballot came be left at the box on The Buzzard's porch. please remember to include your name. The ballots were illegally left in mailboxes....Rumors indicate there was a Mike Fishy sighting earlier this week....Advancing to the football challenge finals so far are Lori, Jodi, Mary, Matt, Caroline and Raf, Jr.....According to Trish, there is talk of a Haloween party on Regal View later this month. Hard liquor will not be allowed. Guests will be searched prior to entry. This is in obvious response to the St. Patrick's Day Bombing...Watch The Buzzard next week for a story on "Flashback, " a musical group which features Brad from the Regal View section of North Ridge.
(Photo: One of the two pictured above will attend the Beer Exchange, while the other will be baking cookies)

Entwistle Kid Survives Huge Bike Jump

2006-10-05T17:12:00.000-07:00

Earlier today one of the Entwistle boys attempted to jump from one roof top to another along the Regal View section of North Ridge. If successful, it would have been the longest jump in North Ridge history. The Buzzard has learned Bill Entwistle recently constructed a huge ramp on the north end of his roof. This may explain his absense at multiple events during the summer of 2006.
As for the jump, the young Entwsitle bailed out half way over Brotherton's house (as pictured). Luckily no injuries were reported.

Asbestos is Really Bad

2006-10-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

Many asbestos manufacturers and distributors knew for decades that asbestos was hazardous, yet made a business decision not to warn people of those hazards. As a result, you may have a right of recovery against those manufacturers, which can help defray the costs of treatment and provide compensation for your pain and suffering. Attorneys can help you with medical insurance coverage issues and bringing lawsuits on your behalf. Again and again negligent companies have challenged mesothelioma patients in court, and juries have awarded billions of dollars to victims. Many of the responsible companies have set aside large funds to compensate people injured by asbestos products they produced throughout this century.
This is another in a series of public service reports presented by The Buzzard

Wiffle Ball Banquet Set for October 15th

2006-10-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

The first ever North Ridge Wiffle Ball Banquet will be held on October 15th at Hoss's. The North Ridge Buzz will have more info on this as well. Sign up sheet will be on the Week 3 Men;s Football Challenege ballot. According to Trish, even Ally McBeal will be attending the event. Please contact Chuck or Kevin with any questions or concerns. Anyone who participated in a game this years is welcome to attend. Proper attire is requested.

Three Kids Advance to Finals

2006-10-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

Advancing to the North Ridge Football Challenge Finals are:
Matt F (10 Wins)
Caroline (10 Wins)
Rafael (9 Wins)
_________________________________________________________

Kids Update on NFL Challenge, Part 2

2006-10-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

Provided the Chicago Bears win (up by 28 points), there are four kids still in the running with two clinching a spot in the Championship Round. With 9-4 records, Matt F. and Caroline "Twitchy" have advanced. The third spot is between Rafael and Natashia- each with a 8-5 record. Natashia has the Packers and Raf has the Eagles for the Monday evening showdown.
Kids with 7-6 records include Alexis, MacK and Skyhawk.

Kids Update on NFL Challenge

2006-10-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

With the 1:00 PM kickoffs, 17 ballots were submitted to Buzzard headquarters. With the early games in the books, the race is close and it is still anybody's race. Through 8 games, Rafael and Caroline hold the top spots with 5 wins. There are numerous players with 3 and 4 wins as well. As a matter of fact, eight participants are sitting within striking distance with 4 wins. Others with 3 wins still can easily reach the top three spots.
Quick notes....The Boys have an overall record of 26-30, while the Girls are struggling with a 36-44 record... Each of the three Orr entries have a 4-4 record going into the late afternoon games... By family- Morrow (7-9), Etsweiler (6-10), Bixby (11-13), Orr (12-12), Fuller (10-18), Moran (7-9) & Calzada (9-7)...Rafael submitted his on customized ballot with Jets logos - this is being reviewed and may disqualify the current leader...
WiffleBall Banquet... Mark you October schedule for the wiffleball banquet slated for October 15, 2006.

BREAKING UPDATE: Kids Ballot Controversy

2006-09-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

As ballots pour into the North Ridge Event Center for the Kid's NFL Challenge, there seems to be some question regarding an entry from a 2-year old male.
The ballot has a hand written message which indicates no parent helped with his choices. The Buzzard became suspicious when there were certain comments next to several games.
For instance, the Baltimore Ravens game indicated "The Ravens have talented linebackers and can clog up the hole on 3rd and short."
Another example, "I can't expect Redskins quarterback Brunel to have another record setting week."
What makes this all the more interesting is the child is believed to be that of first week winner Jodi Morrow.
To date, nine ballots have been received. Ballots must be received prior to the 1:00 PM kick-off of Sunday's games.

Kids Football Challenge Ballots Distributed

2006-09-28T17:11:00.000-07:00

This evening the North Ridge Buzzard delivery service circulated a number of ballots for the Kid's Week 2 Football Challenge. Please check your mail and newspaper boxes for the full page ballot.
Calzada Jr was the first youth to get the ballot. "I am going to put a lot of time into this. I will spend most of the night making my picks and then think about it all day tomorrow at school. For a couple days school work is going to take a back seat," stated Calzada
Please drop off the ballots at The Buzzard home office on Skyline View Drive before kickoff on Sunday.
The top three kids will join an elite group which already Jodi "The Greek" Morrow, Lori Moran and Mary Orr.
Next week the men will round out the opening round.

Final Womens Football Standings Announced

2006-09-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

The North Ridge Buzzard is proud to announce three women will advance to the Championship Round. This week the youth of North Ridge will battle it out for the top three spots. Schedules will be distributed on Thursday and Friday.

Final Results

1. Morrow (11-3)
2. Moran (10-4)
3. Orr (9-5)
--------------------------
4. Etsweiler (8-6)
5. Calzada (7-7)
McMurdy (7-7)
7. Fuller (6-8)
Greenaway (6-8)
9. Bixby (5-9)

Challenge Update: Morrow Womens Champion

2006-09-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

Jodi Morrow has won phase one of the North Ridge Football Challenge. Next door neighbor Lori Moran clinched second place. Both will move on to the Championship Round.
With two games remaining the results have already been determined. Morrow clinched the top stop with a 10-2 record, while Moran went 9-3. Morrow clinched the title since she has the same picks as Moran in the last two games.
There is a fight for third place with Mary, Diane and Trish holding a 7 -5 record. None of the three can catch Moran because of overlapping picks in the final 2 matches.
Trish was tied for the lead after the early games but dropped off quickly.
"With such a tight battle for the third spot, we are considering having three from each group make the championship round," according to The Buzzard.
In other news.... make sure you mark your calendars for the October 15th Wiffle Ball banquet to be held at Hoss's. Men are expected to wear ties.

Early Football Challenge Results.....

2006-09-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

After the 1 PM games, three North Ridge Ladies are tied for the lead with six wins. Trish, Lori and Jodi are out front. Diane and Mary each have four and still could sneak into the top two. The Eagles quick start is good news for 2 of the 3 leaders, with Jodi and Lori both picking the Philadelphia team. A Eagles win would also move Diane and Mary to withing one game of Trish.

Morrow in Running for 2006 MVP Award

2006-09-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

North Ridge Wiffle Ball Weekly
Chris Morrow continued his tremendous play under the lights this evening at Morrow Field.
Morrow's batting and fielding all but assure him an MVP award. "I was afraid if I didn't play well this evening, they were going to send me to the trailer park league - and thats not too far away," stated Lotto in a post game interview.
"I was on my home field and knew I had to play the game of my life. I just stayed focus and stung the ball to all fields. I think this performance alone should get me back into the Beer Exchange in December, " commented Morrow.
"He plays a solid brand of wiffleball. Tough guy to strike out and plays the field as if he owns it," according to A. Rafael.
Saturday night marked the first night game in some time. The evening also marked the arrival of Gil Pak. Chuck Moran took time to comment on both. "Night games are great. The outfield fence was up in what seemed to be seconds and visibility was perfect. No issues with lighting or fog. Pak played well in the field and he smacked his first ever homer. I was a little surprised Morrow didn't give him the ball to commemorate the moment. However, Morrow was busy having the game of his life."
In other news....
The wiffle ball banquet is tentatively set for October 15th, check your schedules. The awards ceremomy will be held at Hoss's.

North Ridge Football Challenge

2006-09-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard is proud to announce the 5th Annual North Ridge Buzzard Football Challange (ANRBFC). Nothing complicated here and the whole thing wraps up in four weeks. The contest will crown the top football mind in North Ridge. Better than fantasy football, the contest requires no tracking of point spreads or individual statistics.
There will be a simple listing of games and the participant just picks the winner of each NFL matchup. The top two move on to the Finals. In the event of the tie, the player who picked the biggest upset (based on Vegas odds) will advance. Simple. The results will be published on Tuesday of each week.
The Schedule (Week One-Ladies) (Week Two - Kids) (Week Three- Men). On Week Four, 6 people will contend for the Championship.
NINE WOMEN WOMEN MAKE THEIR PICKS....
Participants include Trish, Kathy, Diane , Sheila, Teresa, Jodi, Mary, Lori & Amy. As a quick preview 8 of 9 have the Steelers winning while 6 of 9 see the Eagles winning. The Buzzard boldly predicts Amy and Jodi moving on to the championship round.
The Buzzard also predicts young D. Orr as the odds on favorite to win the entire event.

North Ridge Men Help Local Youth

2006-09-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

The Buzzard has learned of several local North Ridge men helping make the dreams of a neighborhood youth come true. According to Chris "Lotto" Morrow, "There was a young girl in the neighborhood who wanted nothing more than to have Carlisle's largest 'soda' cap collection. So me and my good friends Dave Orr, Rafael Calzada, Chuck Moran and Kevin Bixby decided to help this kid out. We try to gather every Sunday evening, get down to business and add to her collection. I think we all pay the price on Monday- but we know it is important work. I think we are doing a good job , but we always could use some help."
Dave "Engelberg" Orr added, "You always hear how the ladies are so concerned with the kids around here. But here is a neighborhood kid they refuse to help. When was the last time you saw Mary, Sheila, Lori, Jodi or Trish add to this kids collection? Apparently the gals think the kid is collecting corks."
Chuck Moran, however, provided a little different twist, "Where is Teague at? How about that Fishy guy? Even that guy that likes to fight from Regal View refuses to help. We will make a difference. I think this year's 2nd Annual Beer Bottle Exchange should really be able to help this kid out."
"The young lady's mother won't even let her take the collection to school for show and tell. It is obvious the men are only ones who really care," concluded Bixby.
(Photos: Various pictures of the men trying to make a dream come true)

Lawsuits and Urban Legends

2006-09-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

With a lack of current news in North Ridge, I have added a story on the Stella Awards.

Interesting reading on how trial lawyers get a bad name. Urban legends revealed.
A microwave maker was sued by an old lady who cooked her poodle, following her attempt to dry the dog after giving it a bath. Another old lady won $2.9 million against McDonald's for spilling a cup of coffee on herself while driving. But not really...
A microwave maker was sued by an elderly lady who lost her beloved poodle to the sound of a muffled explosion, following her attempt to dry the dog (on low power, for just a few minutes) after giving it a bath. Another old lady won $2.9 million against McDonald's for spilling a cup of coffee on herself while driving. But not really.
These stories, and others like them, are circulated by e-mail and purport to be genuine legal cases, often labelled "The Stella Awards." But they are, at best, wild exaggerations and, more usually, entirely made up. And the Association of Trial Lawyers of America (ATLA) is upset – because such fabricated stories, almost all of which refer to US litigation, do little for the good name of American trial lawyers.
However, if interested in making a little money now, join a current class action Lawsuit. Suits include litigation against McDonald's, Vioxx and Starbucks Coffee.
(Photo: Bloggers Bixby & Moran. When you get a chance, ask Bixby or Moran why reporting on these stories is so important)

North Ridge Wiffle Ball Weekly Update

2006-09-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Yet another weekend of wiffle ball at Buzzard Field. Missing from the activities was Chuck Moran.
Outstanding performances were turned in by Rafael Calzada (3 homers) and Sheila Bixby (2 homers). From the youngsters, Skyhawk belted several homers to make up for his shaky play in the field.
Also missing was Engleberg Orr who took time off the attend the Philadelphia Eagles loss in South Philadelphia.
Chuck Moran is usually a mainstay on the wiffle ball field. However, according to Lori Moran, "He was a bear today. He didn't want the kids around. He was complaining about a 5 hour bus ride, my cooking and everything else you could imagine. He asked the kids and I to go to the Bixby's so he could have some time alone." The North Ridge Buzzard will have a follow-up story on the Moran situation in the near future.
"We sent an investigative unit to the Moran house at the request of Lori and what we found was shocking, " according to a Buzzard undercover reporter.

Wiffle Ball Field 2006

2006-09-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

2006 North Ridge Buzzard Stadium
AJ on the mound

Pee Wee Herman Meets Mr. Magoo

2006-09-14T18:19:00.001-07:00

Allenbury Playhouse, located in Boiling Springs, has announced a limited engagement of the popular one man show "Pee Wee Herman Meets Mr. Magoo." The one man, Chuck Moran, stars as the zany Pee Wee Herman as well as the bumbling near-sighted Mr. Magoo.
In this wacky comedy, Moran quickly changes from one role to the other with ease. Moran stated, " I'll have my hands almost full with the Pee Wee role. But it isn't anything I'm not use to. That is one part I practice everyday. As for Mr. Magoo, that one is easy- look at me -I am Magoo!"

The show opens in mid-November after the Dickinson cross country season wraps up. Tickets are $35 weekday and $40 weekend.
According to one North Ridge resident, "I saw the show in Key West, and the transition between characters was seemless. It seems it is a couple roles Mr. Moran has been developing for years. He nails it."

The Most Popular North Ridge Cars

2006-09-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

What is the most popular make of vehicle in North Ridge? Until now, it was unknown. However, The Buzzard has completed an exhaustive poll of 70 cars located on Regal View and Skyline View.
The results may surprise some - but they shouldn't.

General Motors (27%)
Ford (26%)
Chrysler (14%)
Honda (10%)
Toyota (9%)
Volvo (4%)
Hyundai, VW, BMW (3% each)
Others (1%)

The most loyal family is the Orr's, owning four Ford products. Overall, American cars accounted for 67% of the neighborhood cars. From the foreign market Nissan was not represented.
Is North Ridge your average American town? Yes. National statistics (2004) indicate General Motors controlled 27% of the market followed by Ford (18%) and Chrysler (13%). Very similar to the results from The Buzzard study. Toyota , the car of choice of the Morrow family was fourth nationally with 12% followed by Honda with 8%.

Morrow In, Morrow Out

2006-09-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

COOKIE EXCHANGE SET FOR DEC 8th

Earlier this evening the men of North Ridge voted Chris Morrow out of the annual beer exchange- replacing him with Jodi Morrow. As suggested by Rafael, " Jodi is the one who shows up day in and day out for wiffleball. Chris is often a no-show and his taste in beer is poor. We voted and we are happy to have Jodi join us in December."
According to Amy McMurfie, " We always knew Chris, or as we like to call him- Crissy, would join the cookie exchange. I am sure he will make just a delightful chocolate chip brownie."
The vote was 4-0 (see photo) electing Jodi to the now famous beer exhange. Jodi stated, " I am not going to try to push some bad imperial stout beer, I think I will just go with a nice porter." Welcome Jodi !
(Photos: Jodi drinks a few beers while Chris is MIA, The 4-0 vote)

Wiffle Ball Weekly Update

2006-09-10T17:31:00.000-07:00

In the extra innings main event, Sarah's single down the left field line knocked in Twitchy for the winning run. Sarah entered the game late as a late inning replacement for the often injured Trish. With two on base and nobody out, Sarah slapped a fastball from Rafael into left field to win the game. "I hit the ball and I ran, I like hitting the ball and I like running. I had my special fast running shoes on, " related Sarah.
Highlights of the game included an amazing catch by Trish (featured on ESPN this evening) and home runs by Jimmy Wang and Boobie Myles. Wang is believed to be the first Chinese player to participate in organized wiffleball.
(Photos: Boobie Myles rounding third after a homer, Sarah with China's Jimmy Wang, Fielding star Trish "Ozzie" Calzada)

Could He Have Saved the Crocodile Hunter?

2006-09-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

Thousands of miles away from Australia, "The Walking First Aid Station " was just too far away to help. "I can't help but thinking I should have been drinking Foster's and patrolling Down Under. A Stingray is nothing but a large jellyfish," related Rafael. "I could have made a difference. Now I will have to live with this for the rest of my life."
(Photo: A shocked and helpless Rafael can only watch TV reports from half a world away)

Engelberg and the New Ford Fusion

2006-09-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

Carlisle, PA

As reported earlier in "The Buzzard," investigators were closely tracking Engleberg as he pondered legal retalitation for the injury to "Fire Ant." The injury, believe to be serious, has kept "Fire Ant" out of practice for close to a week.
As "Fire Ant" has been apparently having trouble walking , Engleberg can be seen driving a new Ford Fusion through the Skyline View section of North Ridge.
However, The Buzzard has obtained the x-ray of "Fire Ant" that shows no apparent injury. According to Dr. Mikey Powell of the Syracuse Institute of Medicine, "There is nothing wrong with the ankle, she should be kicking 50 yard field goals and kick boxing."
The Buzzard will let the readers of North Ridge draw their own conclusion.
Read more about the new Ford Fusion.
(Photos: Ford Fusion in Engleberg's driveway, exclusive x-ray of 'Fire Ant's' ankle)

North Ridge Wiffle Ball Weekly Update

2006-09-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

A large crowd turned out for nine highly competitive wiffle ball games at the newly named "Buzzard" field. Highlights included the kids holding on for a 18-17 win other the women of North Ridge. Perhaps the most shocking upset was the mens victory over the teenagers 6-4 in extra innings.
Walking away with the MVP was "Big Don" from Maryland. "I knew they play a good brand of wiffle ball in North Ridge. A lot of my friends talk about it back in Maryland, " related Don.
Other newcomers played well. AJ , a Pete Rose type player, and Frank faired well on their initial visit to Buzzard field.
Swimmers in the jellyfish infested pool of Engleberg Orr got a scare when they noticed Rafael not drinking as late as 3:00PM - thus rendering the walking first aid station useless. Luckily Lotto Morrow seemed to do enough drinking to combat any jellyfish issues on the entire east coast.
Back in action after a long absense was Chuck McMurphy. As you may recall, McMurphy was still believed to be recovering from North Ridge's own "St. Patricks Day Massacre."
Oddly absent from the field was Chuck "PeeWee" Moran. The editor of the ill-fated "Buzz" was only seen walking to the right field fence, spitting on "The Buzzard Sign" and leaving.
Other notes.....Special thanks to Engelberg for his mid-afternoon deck maintenance....The men also easily handled the teenagers in basketball, 11-7....Late reports from the Morrow football field indicate Trish Calzada was injured again, possibly a hamstring....expect "The Buzz" to rip-off a story or two from "The Buzzard" - possibly even something on jellyfish....Finally, remember to click on one or two ads located on the blog, this supports field maintenance and beer.

SEE OVER 50 PHOTOS ONLINE FROM THE EVENT
Check you email for a direct link and log onto www.ophoto.com
If you didn't get an email contact The Buzzards nrwiffle@hotmail.com

Player Photo Feature: Billy Entwistle

2006-09-04T06:22:00.000-07:00

Controversy Strikes North Ridge Wiffle Ball

2006-09-04T05:13:00.000-07:00

Steroid Scandal Rocks Small Community in Carlisle, PA

The Buzzard has learned Jodi Morrow has been included in the same Balco Steroid Scandal which has cast doubt on Barry Bonds home records. Fans at Buzzard field openly questioned Morrow after a five home afternoon Sunday. One youth yelled from the deck, "Hey lady, are you juicing?"
It is believed Morrow has been on the bean for close to two years. Let's look at the statisitics from the back of her wiffle ball card.

2004 2 Hr, 17 RBI .282 Ave
2005 44Hr, 123 RBI .442 Ave
2006 42Hr, 119RBI .471 Ave

Oddly enough, it appears Jodi is keeping the 'roids from husband "Lotto." After a long homerun early yesterday (his 11th of the year), Lotto went in a 2 for 12 tailspin dropping his average to .262.

Labor Day , Beaches & Jellyfish

2006-09-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Jellyfish Season in Full Swing

Brigantine, NJ (AP)

Local New Jersey Shore residents report late August and early September appear to be the worst jellyfish season in close to 10 years. Bill "Ace" Bixby of Brigantine (located right off Atlantic City's Marina) stated, " We are seeing a lot of jellyfish this year and there isn't much we can do. I have tried grilling them and boiling them- they just aren't very tasty." The jellyfish typically invade the Jersey Shore when the ocean tempature exceeds 72 degrees.
In response to the situation, local North Ridge resident Rafael Calzada is headed to the shore to help swimmers who have been stung by the jellyfish. Labor Day weekend is one of the busiest weekends for Ocean City, Wildwood and other summer hotspots along the New Jersey Coast.
According to Calzada, "Growing up in Puerto Rico we learned very young that human urine will immediately take the sting out of the affected area. So I have been drinking all night and my wife will drive me to the beach in an hour or two. With 12 beers down, I expect to be able to urinate on everybody who needs it. I consider myself a walking first aid station."
Hawaiian natives have long known the healing powers of urine when it comes to jellyfish stings. Recently, ABC News (abcnews.go.com) has also reported on the 'urine factor.' Calzada expects a busy weekend once 'Ernesto' leaves the area on Saturday. "This may give me a little more time to drink. My goal is to pee on every sting."

(Photos: Calzada two-fists beverages preparing for a long day of urination. Right: The dreaded jellyfish)

North Ridge Missing Person / Most Wanted Report

2006-08-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Have you seen any of the pictured men? Each has been missing for a considerable period of time. A little info on each.

"High Ball" McMurphy - Believed to be linked to several car bombing incidents on the east coast. May be in the Pittsburgh area. If you see McMurphy with Beer, Jamiesons and Bailey- be careful- he is considered armed and dangerous

Dan - Nice showing at the Christmas Beer Exchange proved to be the last sighting. May be in the Gettysburg area. Frequently changes hair color to throw of authorities. Last name unknown

Fishy Frutsche - Typically seen with Engleberg or Calzada, Fishy has disappeared. Authorities believe he was lost after chasing a poodle who pooped in his yard. He was last seen chasing the dog, with a shovel, into a local trailer park. He has not been seen since.

George- He might have just snapped. Take a look at the picture. It says enough.

The Buzzard has reached an agreement with Whoppers to feature each of the four on the side of their carton. Whoppers are manufactured locally by the Hershey Company (www.hershey.pa).

Carlisle Galaxy Places 4th in Gettysburg

2006-08-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

The U-11 Carlisle Galaxy finished fourth in the "Battlefield Blast" held last weekend in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Highliting the tournament for The Galaxy was wins over both teams from Cumberland Valley. North Ridge resident "Twitchy" played defense for The Galaxy. Twitchy played defense in all six matches against squads from Pennsylvania and Maryland.
(Photo: Twitchy in the middle of the action against a Maryland squad)
www.cpysl.org

Class Action Lawsuit - Sunscreen is a scam

2006-08-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

I have been saying this all along...sunscreen is a scam. I have a strict no sunscreen
policy on "Buzzard Field" and we have never lost an inning to sunburn. Please refrain from bringing any sunblocking lotions onto the field.

Sunscreen Consumer Fraud Litigation

Manufacturers of the top sunscreen brands relied upon by millions of American swimmers and sunbathers each year have lied about the effectiveness of their products in blocking sun rays and preventing skin diseases, including cancer, according to several coordinated lawsuits filed in California Superior Court in Los Angeles.

Such famous brands as Coppertone, Banana Boat and Hawaiian Tropic, marketed as protective “sunblocks,” are in fact unreliable in protecting adults and children and can create a sense of false security that actually endangers users, the complaint charges.

“Sunscreen is the Snake Oil of the 21st Century and these companies that market it are Fortune 500 Snake Oil salesmen,” said Samuel Rudman, a New York-based partner in the nation’s most successful shareholder and consumer class action law firm, Lerach Coughlin Stoia Geller Rudman & Robbins LLP. “False claims such as ‘sunblock’ ‘waterproof’ and ‘all-day protection’ should be removed from these products immediately,” he said.

Changed the "A" to "O" and you have MORON

2006-08-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

Make no bones about it, Moran is a Moron. After over 25 straight stories on "the Buzz" about unrelated North Ridge items, Moron publishes a story about our fair neighborhood. Problem is, he takes the story from The Patriot News and the pictures and additional information from "The Buzzard."
"He is a hack, his readership is dropping like a deuce in the hopper, " according to Dr. Kevin Bixby of The Buzzard. "He is trying to copy what we are doing here at The Buzzard- but it is bush league. He has lost touch with the public."
The Buzzard has learned Moron, I mean Moran has had numerous requests to have names removed from his spam-like emails.
One recent North Ridge resident requested removal because of a lack of reporting on fighting on Regal View. By Scott, he is missing the boat again.
According to Amy McMurdy, "He is so dumb, he has my old email I never check. The Buzz is all about stupid stuff like, well I don't know what ir is about since I don't read it. By the way , the one thing I like about Moron, I mean Moran is his new nickname "PeeWee."
The Buzzard is close to finalizing a investigative report regarding this situation. Keep checking back- it promises to be a shocker.

"Fire Ant" Injured At Color Guard Practice

2006-08-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

Carlisle, PA (The Buzzard). Bad, bad news from the Skyline View section of the North Ridge community. Cub Reporter "Fire Ant" was injured while performing a tricky maneuver while practicing for the highly rated Carlisle High School Color Guard.
Initial reports indicate "Fire Ant" turned an ankle due to poor maintanence of the Carlisle field. Engleberg was not too happy about the situation and was considering legal options. "You trust the field would be free of gopher holes. I am disdraught my little 'Fire Ant' was injured due to the negligence of the school district, " commented Engleberg.
According to a well placed insurance investigator, " We can usually tell when somebody is looking for a big settlement. We typically see the individual go out on a big vacation, buy expensive stereo equipment or buy a new Ford Fusion."
The Buzzard plans to follow both "Fire Ant's" recovery as well as the pending investigation.
(Photo: The last know picture of 'Fire Ant' prior to the ankle injury)

Wiffle Ball Sunday Slated for Labor Day Weekend

2006-08-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Grand Finale of the 2006 Regular Season

Carlisle PA (Click on an ad to support the blog) The North Ridge Wiffle Ball Association in conjunction with The Buzzard have announce Wiffle Ball Sunday for September 3rd. The activities will kick off between 1 and 2 PM at the Skyline View facility. National Anthems of the USA, Canada and the Iroquois Nation will commence promptly at 2:00 PM.
Beer and soda will be provided. Participants are requested to bring their main dish- although there will be hot dogs provided as well. Also a snack or two is always welcomed.
Coming into the Labor Day weekend, NRWBA leading batters include Jodi Morrow - .401, Sheila Bixby .373 and Trish Calzada at .373. Leading the Men in batting is Dr. Kevin Bixby at .333, Rafael Calzada at .332 and Lotto Morrow at .272.
One of the biggest surprises of the season has been PeeWee Moran's .242 average. Oddly enough, Lori Moran is batting .338. On the injury report, Diane Etsweiler is expected to be back in the lineup for the Labor Day weekend event.
Any questions? Email Dr. Kevin Bixby @ nrwiffle@hotmail.com

Regal View - One Year Later

2006-08-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Carlisle, PA (Remember to click an ad!) The Buzzard sent an investigative reporter into the Regal View Section to determine if things have calmed down from last years tragic events. 2005 marked random violence , lude behavior and an occassional public intoxication charge. "I must admit, I was a little scared to go into Regal View- especially the southern section, " stated the undercover reporter.
How is Regal View 2006? "It seems like there are fights breaking out everywhere. Kids are looking to wrestle and the rabbit punch has become popular. Water balloons are flying from the roof tops, M80s are hidden in mailboxes and people haven't cut their grass in months. I think our photographer has really captured the spirit of the place, " reported The Buzzard.
There is talk of extra police patrols and possibly making Skyline View a gated community. According to Officer Mooney of the local police department, "We talk about sending troops, ehr , ehr , I mean officers into Regal View but it is a tough assignment."
(Photos: Random teenagers fighting under the Regal View street sign, Youth of Regal View looking for a fight)

Crestview Elementary School Update

2006-08-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

Burgess Out, New Floors In

Carlisle, PA (Support my advertisers - Please click on an ad to support The Buzzard) Today, The Buzzard learned from a well placed source that enrollment at Crestview has jumped from 450 to 485 students. This jump of 35 students, along with the future students expected from pending developments, is sure to tax the vintage 1954 plumbing.
While Principal Burgess is on his way out to the new plumbing at Bellaire, Crestview has been partially renovated with new tile flooring. Accord to The Source "Every 15 years or so they decide to switch from tile to carpet. So we are expecting to have carpet back in Crestview somewhere around 2021."
"The new flooring is nice and clean, however it made me dizzy, " according to a student who received a pre-school year tour.
It should be noted the Carlisle teachers still are without a contract as wording of the deal is yet to be finalized.
In breaking news, Gym Teacher Mrs. Rodgers and Music Teacher Mrs. Walters have been assigned to Crestview for the 2006-2007 school year.
With Burgess gone, The new commander at Crestview is Principal Holly.
In other school related news, dispite extensive lobbying the school bus will remain at last years location at 175 Skyline View Drive.
The Buzzard has determined there are no asbestos issues at Crestview. Mesothelioma is a serious condition caused by exposure to asbestos