North Ridge Hires "Crack Inspector"

The Buzzard has learned that North Ridge has hired a "Crack Inspector" to help eliminate the growing problem of plumber's rear. According to a local official, "We couldn't wait until the elections next week to have somebody in place for this important position. We feel Mike Frutsche is the right guy to eliminate the growing crack problem which has plagued the Skyline View section of North Ridge. Frutsche isn't afraid to dig in."
Frutsche, a accomplished dancer, is expected to investigate all reports of crack and hopes to have the problem eliminated shortly. "We are especially concerned any time this individual wears jeans. We are expecting a full moon this weekend. I am hoping the individual will start wearing a leotard or jump suit. Actually, I have a leotard or two in the closet that he can use. I am getting the most pressure from his wife to get this situation under control."