As ballots pour into the North Ridge Event Center for the Kid's NFL Challenge, there seems to be some question regarding an entry from a 2-year old male. The ballot has a hand written message which indicates no parent helped with his choices. The Buzzard became suspicious when there were certain comments next to several games. For instance, the Baltimore Ravens game indicated "The Ravens have talented linebackers and can clog up the hole on 3rd and short." Another example, "I can't expect Redskins quarterback Brunel to have another record setting week." What makes this all the more interesting is the child is believed to be that of first week winner Jodi Morrow. To date, nine ballots have been received. Ballots must be received prior to the 1:00 PM kick-off of Sunday's games.
This evening the North Ridge Buzzard delivery service circulated a number of ballots for the Kid's Week 2 Football Challenge. Please check your mail and newspaper boxes for the full page ballot. Calzada Jr was the first youth to get the ballot. "I am going to put a lot of time into this. I will spend most of the night making my picks and then think about it all day tomorrow at school. For a couple days school work is going to take a back seat," stated Calzada Please drop off the ballots at The Buzzard home office on Skyline View Drive before kickoff on Sunday. The top three kids will join an elite group which already Jodi "The Greek" Morrow, Lori Moran and Mary Orr. Next week the men will round out the opening round.
The North Ridge Buzzard is proud to announce three women will advance to the Championship Round. This week the youth of North Ridge will battle it out for the top three spots. Schedules will be distributed on Thursday and Friday.
Jodi Morrow has won phase one of the North Ridge Football Challenge. Next door neighbor Lori Moran clinched second place. Both will move on to the Championship Round. With two games remaining the results have already been determined. Morrow clinched the top stop with a 10-2 record, while Moran went 9-3. Morrow clinched the title since she has the same picks as Moran in the last two games. There is a fight for third place with Mary, Diane and Trish holding a 7 -5 record. None of the three can catch Moran because of overlapping picks in the final 2 matches. Trish was tied for the lead after the early games but dropped off quickly. "With such a tight battle for the third spot, we are considering having three from each group make the championship round," according to The Buzzard. In other news.... make sure you mark your calendars for the October 15th Wiffle Ball banquet to be held at Hoss's. Men are expected to wear ties.
After the 1 PM games, three North Ridge Ladies are tied for the lead with six wins. Trish, Lori and Jodi are out front. Diane and Mary each have four and still could sneak into the top two. The Eagles quick start is good news for 2 of the 3 leaders, with Jodi and Lori both picking the Philadelphia team. A Eagles win would also move Diane and Mary to withing one game of Trish.
North Ridge Wiffle Ball Weekly Chris Morrow continued his tremendous play under the lights this evening at Morrow Field. Morrow's batting and fielding all but assure him an MVP award. "I was afraid if I didn't play well this evening, they were going to send me to the trailer park league - and thats not too far away," stated Lotto in a post game interview. "I was on my home field and knew I had to play the game of my life. I just stayed focus and stung the ball to all fields. I think this performance alone should get me back into the Beer Exchange in December, " commented Morrow. "He plays a solid brand of wiffleball. Tough guy to strike out and plays the field as if he owns it," according to A. Rafael. Saturday night marked the first night game in some time. The evening also marked the arrival of Gil Pak. Chuck Moran took time to comment on both. "Night games are great. The outfield fence was up in what seemed to be seconds and visibility was perfect. No issues with lighting or fog. Pak played well in the field and he smacked his first ever homer. I was a little surprised Morrow didn't give him the ball to commemorate the moment. However, Morrow was busy having the game of his life." In other news.... The wiffle ball banquet is tentatively set for October 15th, check your schedules. The awards ceremomy will be held at Hoss's.
The Buzzard is proud to announce the 5th Annual North Ridge Buzzard Football Challange (ANRBFC). Nothing complicated here and the whole thing wraps up in four weeks. The contest will crown the top football mind in North Ridge. Better than fantasy football, the contest requires no tracking of point spreads or individual statistics. There will be a simple listing of games and the participant just picks the winner of each NFL matchup. The top two move on to the Finals. In the event of the tie, the player who picked the biggest upset (based on Vegas odds) will advance. Simple. The results will be published on Tuesday of each week. The Schedule (Week One-Ladies) (Week Two - Kids) (Week Three- Men). On Week Four, 6 people will contend for the Championship. NINE WOMEN WOMEN MAKE THEIR PICKS.... Participants include Trish, Kathy, Diane , Sheila, Teresa, Jodi, Mary, Lori & Amy. As a quick preview 8 of 9 have the Steelers winning while 6 of 9 see the Eagles winning. The Buzzard boldly predicts Amy and Jodi moving on to the championship round. The Buzzard also predicts young D. Orr as the odds on favorite to win the entire event.
The Buzzard has learned of several local North Ridge men helping make the dreams of a neighborhood youth come true. According to Chris "Lotto" Morrow, "There was a young girl in the neighborhood who wanted nothing more than to have Carlisle's largest 'soda' cap collection. So me and my good friends Dave Orr, Rafael Calzada, Chuck Moran and Kevin Bixby decided to help this kid out. We try to gather every Sunday evening, get down to business and add to her collection. I think we all pay the price on Monday- but we know it is important work. I think we are doing a good job , but we always could use some help." Dave "Engelberg" Orr added, "You always hear how the ladies are so concerned with the kids around here. But here is a neighborhood kid they refuse to help. When was the last time you saw Mary, Sheila, Lori, Jodi or Trish add to this kids collection? Apparently the gals think the kid is collecting corks." Chuck Moran, however, provided a little different twist, "Where is Teague at? How about that Fishy guy? Even that guy that likes to fight from Regal View refuses to help. We will make a difference. I think this year's 2nd Annual Beer Bottle Exchange should really be able to help this kid out." "The young lady's mother won't even let her take the collection to school for show and tell. It is obvious the men are only ones who really care," concluded Bixby. (Photos: Various pictures of the men trying to make a dream come true)
With a lack of current news in North Ridge, I have added a story on the Stella Awards.
Interesting reading on how trial lawyers get a bad name. Urban legends revealed. A microwave maker was sued by an old lady who cooked her poodle, following her attempt to dry the dog after giving it a bath. Another old lady won $2.9 million against McDonald's for spilling a cup of coffee on herself while driving. But not really... A microwave maker was sued by an elderly lady who lost her beloved poodle to the sound of a muffled explosion, following her attempt to dry the dog (on low power, for just a few minutes) after giving it a bath. Another old lady won $2.9 million against McDonald's for spilling a cup of coffee on herself while driving. But not really. These stories, and others like them, are circulated by e-mail and purport to be genuine legal cases, often labelled "The Stella Awards." But they are, at best, wild exaggerations and, more usually, entirely made up. And the Association of Trial Lawyers of America (ATLA) is upset – because such fabricated stories, almost all of which refer to US litigation, do little for the good name of American trial lawyers. However, if interested in making a little money now, join a current class action Lawsuit. Suits include litigation against McDonald's, Vioxx and Starbucks Coffee. (Photo: Bloggers Bixby & Moran. When you get a chance, ask Bixby or Moran why reporting on these stories is so important)
Yet another weekend of wiffle ball at Buzzard Field. Missing from the activities was Chuck Moran. Outstanding performances were turned in by Rafael Calzada (3 homers) and Sheila Bixby (2 homers). From the youngsters, Skyhawk belted several homers to make up for his shaky play in the field. Also missing was Engleberg Orr who took time off the attend the Philadelphia Eagles loss in South Philadelphia. Chuck Moran is usually a mainstay on the wiffle ball field. However, according to Lori Moran, "He was a bear today. He didn't want the kids around. He was complaining about a 5 hour bus ride, my cooking and everything else you could imagine. He asked the kids and I to go to the Bixby's so he could have some time alone." The North Ridge Buzzard will have a follow-up story on the Moran situation in the near future. "We sent an investigative unit to the Moran house at the request of Lori and what we found was shocking, " according to a Buzzard undercover reporter.
Allenbury Playhouse, located in Boiling Springs, has announced a limited engagement of the popular one man show "Pee Wee Herman Meets Mr. Magoo." The one man, Chuck Moran, stars as the zany Pee Wee Herman as well as the bumbling near-sighted Mr. Magoo. In this wacky comedy, Moran quickly changes from one role to the other with ease. Moran stated, " I'll have my hands almost full with the Pee Wee role. But it isn't anything I'm not use to. That is one part I practice everyday. As for Mr. Magoo, that one is easy- look at me -I am Magoo!"
The show opens in mid-November after the Dickinson cross country season wraps up. Tickets are $35 weekday and $40 weekend. According to one North Ridge resident, "I saw the show in Key West, and the transition between characters was seemless. It seems it is a couple roles Mr. Moran has been developing for years. He nails it."
What is the most popular make of vehicle in North Ridge? Until now, it was unknown. However, The Buzzard has completed an exhaustive poll of 70 cars located on Regal View and Skyline View. The results may surprise some - but they shouldn't.
General Motors (27%)
Ford (26%)
Chrysler (14%)
Honda (10%)
Toyota (9%)
Volvo (4%)
Hyundai, VW, BMW (3% each)
Others (1%)
The most loyal family is the Orr's, owning four Ford products. Overall, American cars accounted for 67% of the neighborhood cars. From the foreign market Nissan was not represented. Is North Ridge your average American town? Yes. National statistics (2004) indicate General Motors controlled 27% of the market followed by Ford (18%) and Chrysler (13%). Very similar to the results from The Buzzard study. Toyota , the car of choice of the Morrow family was fourth nationally with 12% followed by Honda with 8%.
Earlier this evening the men of North Ridge voted Chris Morrow out of the annual beer exchange- replacing him with Jodi Morrow. As suggested by Rafael, " Jodi is the one who shows up day in and day out for wiffleball. Chris is often a no-show and his taste in beer is poor. We voted and we are happy to have Jodi join us in December." According to Amy McMurfie, " We always knew Chris, or as we like to call him- Crissy, would join the cookie exchange. I am sure he will make just a delightful chocolate chip brownie." The vote was 4-0 (see photo) electing Jodi to the now famous beer exhange. Jodi stated, " I am not going to try to push some bad imperial stout beer, I think I will just go with a nice porter." Welcome Jodi ! (Photos: Jodi drinks a few beers while Chris is MIA, The 4-0 vote)
In the extra innings main event, Sarah's single down the left field line knocked in Twitchy for the winning run. Sarah entered the game late as a late inning replacement for the often injured Trish. With two on base and nobody out, Sarah slapped a fastball from Rafael into left field to win the game. "I hit the ball and I ran, I like hitting the ball and I like running. I had my special fast running shoes on, " related Sarah. Highlights of the game included an amazing catch by Trish (featured on ESPN this evening) and home runs by Jimmy Wang and Boobie Myles. Wang is believed to be the first Chinese player to participate in organized wiffleball. (Photos: Boobie Myles rounding third after a homer, Sarah with China's Jimmy Wang, Fielding star Trish "Ozzie" Calzada)
Thousands of miles away from Australia, "The Walking First Aid Station " was just too far away to help. "I can't help but thinking I should have been drinking Foster's and patrolling Down Under. A Stingray is nothing but a large jellyfish," related Rafael. "I could have made a difference. Now I will have to live with this for the rest of my life." (Photo: A shocked and helpless Rafael can only watch TV reports from half a world away)
As reported earlier in "The Buzzard," investigators were closely tracking Engleberg as he pondered legal retalitation for the injury to "Fire Ant." The injury, believe to be serious, has kept "Fire Ant" out of practice for close to a week. As "Fire Ant" has been apparently having trouble walking , Engleberg can be seen driving a new Ford Fusion through the Skyline View section of North Ridge. However, The Buzzard has obtained the x-ray of "Fire Ant" that shows no apparent injury. According to Dr. Mikey Powell of the Syracuse Institute of Medicine, "There is nothing wrong with the ankle, she should be kicking 50 yard field goals and kick boxing." The Buzzard will let the readers of North Ridge draw their own conclusion. Read more about the new Ford Fusion. (Photos: Ford Fusion in Engleberg's driveway, exclusive x-ray of 'Fire Ant's' ankle)
A large crowd turned out for nine highly competitive wiffle ball games at the newly named "Buzzard" field. Highlights included the kids holding on for a 18-17 win other the women of North Ridge. Perhaps the most shocking upset was the mens victory over the teenagers 6-4 in extra innings. Walking away with the MVP was "Big Don" from Maryland. "I knew they play a good brand of wiffle ball in North Ridge. A lot of my friends talk about it back in Maryland, " related Don. Other newcomers played well. AJ , a Pete Rose type player, and Frank faired well on their initial visit to Buzzard field. Swimmers in the jellyfish infested pool of Engleberg Orr got a scare when they noticed Rafael not drinking as late as 3:00PM - thus rendering the walking first aid station useless. Luckily Lotto Morrow seemed to do enough drinking to combat any jellyfish issues on the entire east coast. Back in action after a long absense was Chuck McMurphy. As you may recall, McMurphy was still believed to be recovering from North Ridge's own "St. Patricks Day Massacre." Oddly absent from the field was Chuck "PeeWee" Moran. The editor of the ill-fated "Buzz" was only seen walking to the right field fence, spitting on "The Buzzard Sign" and leaving. Other notes.....Special thanks to Engelberg for his mid-afternoon deck maintenance....The men also easily handled the teenagers in basketball, 11-7....Late reports from the Morrow football field indicate Trish Calzada was injured again, possibly a hamstring....expect "The Buzz" to rip-off a story or two from "The Buzzard" - possibly even something on jellyfish....Finally, remember to click on one or two ads located on the blog, this supports field maintenance and beer.
SEE OVER 50 PHOTOS ONLINE FROM THE EVENT Check you email for a direct link and log onto www.ophoto.com If you didn't get an email contact The Buzzards nrwiffle@hotmail.com
Steroid Scandal Rocks Small Community in Carlisle, PA
The Buzzard has learned Jodi Morrow has been included in the same Balco Steroid Scandal which has cast doubt on Barry Bonds home records. Fans at Buzzard field openly questioned Morrow after a five home afternoon Sunday. One youth yelled from the deck, "Hey lady, are you juicing?" It is believed Morrow has been on the bean for close to two years. Let's look at the statisitics from the back of her wiffle ball card.
Oddly enough, it appears Jodi is keeping the 'roids from husband "Lotto." After a long homerun early yesterday (his 11th of the year), Lotto went in a 2 for 12 tailspin dropping his average to .262.
Local New Jersey Shore residents report late August and early September appear to be the worst jellyfish season in close to 10 years. Bill "Ace" Bixby of Brigantine (located right off Atlantic City's Marina) stated, " We are seeing a lot of jellyfish this year and there isn't much we can do. I have tried grilling them and boiling them- they just aren't very tasty." The jellyfish typically invade the Jersey Shore when the ocean tempature exceeds 72 degrees. In response to the situation, local North Ridge resident Rafael Calzada is headed to the shore to help swimmers who have been stung by the jellyfish. Labor Day weekend is one of the busiest weekends for Ocean City, Wildwood and other summer hotspots along the New Jersey Coast. According to Calzada, "Growing up in Puerto Rico we learned very young that human urine will immediately take the sting out of the affected area. So I have been drinking all night and my wife will drive me to the beach in an hour or two. With 12 beers down, I expect to be able to urinate on everybody who needs it. I consider myself a walking first aid station." Hawaiian natives have long known the healing powers of urine when it comes to jellyfish stings. Recently, ABC News (abcnews.go.com) has also reported on the 'urine factor.' Calzada expects a busy weekend once 'Ernesto' leaves the area on Saturday. "This may give me a little more time to drink. My goal is to pee on every sting."
(Photos: Calzada two-fists beverages preparing for a long day of urination. Right: The dreaded jellyfish)
