Trick-or-Treat in North Ridge

Halloween in North Ridge. There was plenty of candy for the kids but not enough beer for the adults. A quick rundown. The Morrows provided Yuengling, the Morans provided Old Leg Humper, Frutsche to a break from listening to Manilli Vanilli to provide a nice assortment of beverages. The Bixbys provided Shiner 97 Bohemian Lager while the Orrs and Calzadas provided nothing. That's right NOTHING.
When Chuck McMurdy arrived at the darkened Calzada house he peered through the window to see Trish relaxing watching TV while Rafael labored cleaning dishes (as you can see in the exclusive picture, there is a dish towel over Rafael's right shoulder). Much like the Halloween party at midnight- no beer.
The most creative home was clearly the residence of the Shimandle family. Each member of the family expertly carved a pumpkin (see an example above).
The Buzzard now fully endorses the membership of one Chris Morrow in the Beer Exchange in December. Morrow was ready for adult trick-or treaters and provided the coldest beer in town.

A Few Halloween Party Photos & Captions

"ARGHH, Who among us floated the air mead?"

"AHHHHHHHHH, I'm going to Rillo's"

"Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant (bleep) to me, you see he was straight up racist" - From Fight the Power (1990)
....Public Enemy

"I can't believe we are out of beer and there's no car bombs"

"You're just in time for the 8PM viewing of Swan Lake - featuring me"

Moments before we were asked to leave the Holiday Inn

Only Lori finds Chuck amusing

Elvis discovers we are out of beer, bringing the party to a crashing halt

You Have One Life Do Something
Let's Call Somebody

Regal View Gangstas

Engleberg Blows Away the Competition

Engleberg easily wins the 1st ever North Ridge Bubble Blowing contest. Coming in a distant second was Tammy, followed by Bread Dip. Keep an eye out later this week for additional pictures and stories from the Halloween Party hosted by Trish and Alan.

My College Roomie Leads the Fight Against Merck

Photo: Kevin Bixby (far left) and Dave Buchanan (far right) pictured as members of the University of Delaware's top beer pong team circa 1989
Believe it or not, the former college roomate of editor Dr. Kevin Bixby leads the fight against Merck. David Buchanan (who learned a lot from me) is a partner with Seeger Weiss of New York City. He was also involved in lawsuits against Vioxx, Apple Computers, IBM , Daimler and even Martha Stewart. Here is a little more info on the recent Fosamax case

A New York based lawfirm announced earlier this year that it is investigating claims against Merck & Co. (NYSE:MRK - News) for Fosamax-related injuries, including reports of osteonecrosis of the jaw. Fosamax, marketed by Merck, is indicated for the treatment and prevention of osteoporosis (thinning of the bones) in men and women. Recent studies, however, suggest a link between the use of bisphosphonates, such as Fosamax, and osteonecrosis of the jaw, also known as "jaw death.'' This condition is associated with the interference of the blood supply to the bone and the consequential damage that occurs. Osteonecrosis of the jaw can be extremely painful and may lead to additional complications, such as infection, breakdown of the jawbone, and ulcerations in the lining of the mouth. It is not known if ceasing the use of Fosamax can lower the risk of osteonecrosis of the jaw, as the bisphosphonate medications metabolize slowly and remain in the bones for many years.

This is another in a serious of stories on personal injury, malpractice and related articles.

Calzada Close to Buying New Custom Vehicle

The Buzzard has learned Rafael is currently in intense negotiations to purchase a new custom vehicle. It is believe Calzada previously damaged his Purple Chevrolet by driving into a snow bank last December and is looking to trade in the auto. The auto has severe undercarriage damage.
Calzada is attempting to buy a sporty family wagon (pictured). "If I can purchase the vehicle, I will take great pride in driving Natasha and my son to school every day," said Calzada. "This is the car I have dreamt of since my days back in Ponce."

German Folk Art Show Planned

The North Ridge Buzzard is proud to announce the 1st Annual "Old World German Folk Art Festival" to be held at the residence of Mike Frutsche. Leading the festivities is Mike's Mother who was born in Germany and later came to the United States in 1957.
Participants will learn how to make arts, crafts and other objects out of simple every day objects like a dish towel.
"I am looking forward to this event. I haven't been able to make anything good since my father tossed my Erector set in 1983," stated Rafael Calzada. "I'm really getting excited about it."
The festival is believe to be the biggest German festival ever held in the North Ridge community.
(Photos: Festival Director enjoys a laugh as she practices one of the many crafts she will be demonstrating at the event)

Who Really Won the NFL Challenge?

The Buzzard has learned through a credible source that Lori did not complete her own ballot for the final round of The North Ridge Buzzard NFL Challenge. It is believed the winning ballot was actually completed by her son.
The Buzzard tried to reach the youngest male member of the family, but he was believed to have been practicing "toilet ball" at the restroom at Sheetz on Harrisburg Pike.
It was also learned Lori has suffered a serious foot injury and could be seen using crutches to get around her home. The Buzzard staff wishes Lori a speedy recovery.

I've Fallen and Can't Get Up - for Less than $675k

I wonder if this lady increased her weekly donation to church?
Another is a serious of public service articles by The Buzzard....
A 53-year-old woman fell on stairs leading to her church that had been rebuilt a few days earlier. However, the stairs were excessively steep and lacked a handrail, in violation of a Cook County ordinance. As a result of her fall, the woman sustained multiple leg fractures, which required several surgeries, and she is now required to use a walker.

Although the woman was initially reluctant to file suit against her church, an attorney was able to convince her that a lawsuit was in her best interest. According to the attorney, "I could appreciate the fact that my client did not want to file a lawsuit against a church which she had been a member of for many years. However, when I explained to her that she would most likely never be able to work again, that her medical bills would be huge, and that any recovery she received would be covered by the church's insurance company, it made her realize that a lawsuit was the best answer for her and her family. The woman was particularly pleased that I was able to settle the case without a messy and bitter trial." Ultimately, the case settled for $675,000.

Wiffle Ball Season Officially Concludes

It's over. The third wiffleball season has officially ended with the removal of the outfield fence at Buzzard Field in North Ridge. The 2006 season was ended with a wildly entertaining banquet. In case you missed it, Trish was named the 2006 MVP. This weekend the field was expertly dismantled by two senior groundskeepers and a new junior groundskeeper.
"As usual, when the summer is over, everybody splits and leaves all of the work to the Bixbys and the Orrs. They play ball in our field and Rafael urinates in our pool, but when it is time to get ready for Fall everybody disappears. Rafael always seems to head to Ohio for a well timed vacation, " stated head groundskeeper Engelberg.
The youngest Orr did an excellent job cutting the entire field while avoiding numerous obstacles. "It was funny, it was the middle of the day , I thought it was sunny, but I kept thinking or imagining I saw the moon," according the younger Orr.
It is believed surveying has begun behind the Skyline View properties, so it is unclear if the 2007 season will take place at Buzzard Field. If the 2007 season is forced to move to Morrow Field there will need to be some modifications according to President Dr. Kevin Bixby. "First of all he has a sod problem over there, too much loose sod. Somebody is going to get hurt. Also, I think he will need to put another $2500 into the facility to upgrade the lighting system. Otherwise, I think the field will be just fine."

North Ridge Kids Don't Smoke

Smoke Cigarettes and loose your Tongue

Nearly one in every five deaths in the United States is smoking related, and tobacco use results in annual medical costs of more than $75 billion.
Children are particularly susceptible to cigarette advertising, particularly when smoking is shown as a rite of passage into adulthood. The vast majority of adult smokers started before they were 18 years old. When tempted to start smoking, most children think that they will have no trouble quitting, but most smokers become physically unable to quit because cigarettes contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive drug. Once addicted, children continue to smoke as adults and eventually suffer from smoking–related illnesses.
Juries across the country have started to hold the cigarette industry responsible for their actions. For example, A jury held three cigarette companies liable for $37.5 million in a tobacco lawsuit involving an ex–smoker who lost his tongue to tobacco–related oral cancer.Also a U.S. District Court awarded $15 million in punitive damages against R.J. Reynolds Tobacco, calling the company’s conduct “highly blameworthy and deserving of significant punishment.”
To date, personal injury lawyers have filed one zillion lawsuits against the tocacco industry for wrongful death. Attorneys have earned tons of money on the back of injuried tobacco users of all ages.
(Photo: Believe it or not, the above picture is of a 33 year old female who has smoked since she was twelve.)

Lori edges Jodi in North Ridge Challenge

11-2 Record Claims Championship

The ladies of North Ridge took the top two spots in the 1st Annual North Ridge Challenge. Lori's 11 wins proved to be just enough to top Jodi's 10. Placing third was Rafael, Sr.

OVERALL RESULTS (Wins)
Lori (11)
Jodi (10)
Rafael, Sr. (9)
Caroline (8)
Mark (8)
Rafael Jr, (7)
Chuck (7)
Chris (7)
Mary (7)
Engelberg (6)

The Buzzard will present Lori with a special gift to commemorate the victory.

North Ridge Kids Introduce "Toilet Ball"

With the Wiffleball season officially conluded, the kids have taken up a new sport - "Toilet Ball."
The sport was apparently invented in the bathroom of Hoss's during the first ever Wiffleball Banquet.
David Jr, Skyler and Rafael invented the new indoor game on Sunday and the Buzzard was there to witness the event.
"It is like basketball but much tougher. You are in the men's bathroom playing as hard as you can. The smell can be tough, but we have to play in any condition," according to Skyler. "Our second half was tough as somebody obviously had too many beans from the salad bar. But, like I said you just have to play through it."
"I was ready for the game, I have been shooting around in our bathroom for the last week or so. I headed in after my father one time , so that prepared me for anything, " stated Dave Jr.
Rafael serves as official photographer for The Buzzard and obtained several action photos.

Wiffle Ball Banquet Photo Essay

Calzada Wins 2006 Wiffle Ball MVP

A crowd of thirty swarmed Hoss's for the greatly anticipated North Ridge Wiffle Ball Association's 1st Annual Banquet. Top honors went to Trish Calzada as she becomes the first female to be named Most Valuable Player in the highly competitive league. Last years winner, Bill Etsweiler was unable to repeat as the leagues top player.
Calzada batted .317 during the season and was considered one of the league's top fielders. "She showed up every week and played hard. Trish was also the most improved player over the 2005 season," stated Chuck Moran. "I think the 'Cat Fight' was probably what got her the extra votes need to win the MVP."
Top homerun hitters for 2006 were Skyler Moran and Caroline Bixby.
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Later this week in the Buzzard....The new sport sweeping North Ridge, Toilet Ball

Murder at the Morrows?????

Gangland style violence has shocked the suburban community of North Ridge. Local police have blocked off numerous properties while the investigation continues. Police activity can be witnessed at the homes of the Orrs, Calzadas, Etsweilers and especially the Morrows. At this late hour there are not many details.
"There is police tape everywhere. We have never seen anything like this in North Ridge," stated Buzz Editor Chuck Moran. "This type of violence hits home. We are not sure, but it seems like the most activity has occurred at the home of the Morrows. Something has gone wrong, very wrong."
The Buzzard will continue to follow this breaking story.

Buzzard Football Championship Update

Earlier this evening The Buzzard distributed ballots to the finalist for the Football Challenge. Added to this weeks ballot is the "total points" for the Monday evening game. This may help in deciding a winner if two or more are tied.
"It there is a tie after Monday and one of them is a winner from the previous week- they will win the championship. Consider it a bonus for winning in the regular season. After that, it will be the closest on total points on Monday. If it is still a tie I will probably pick whoever I like the best. Furthermore, if Lotto Morrow wins, I will personal lobby to have him reinstated in the Beer Exchange in early December, " announced Dr. Kevin Bixby.
As for favorites, "It would be difficult to bet against 'Jellyfish' Calzada. He was a perfect 14-0 last week and will be tough to beat."
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Schedule Change.....Wiffleball Banquet will be at 5:30 PM on Sunday (not 6:00 PM as reported in The Buzz)
(Photo: This could be Lotto Morrow's best chance to be reinstated in the Beer Exchange)

Flashback is back with Brad Fuller

After a 2-year hiatus, Flashback returns to central PA with a new show and two new members. One of the new members is North Ridge resident Brad Fuller.

The five-piece band offers a variety of danceable rock 'n roll, classic rock, blues, and country.
Checkout Flashback on their new website.
Flashback plays this evening at Mechanicsburg Legion 109. The Flashback website has all of the details on this evenings show as well as future shows.
Here is Fuller's bio from the official Flashback site.
Brad Fuller has been in about 10 different bands since learning the guitar and drums at 13. He played drums in "Aries" and guitar in "Standing Room Only." After college, in the mid-late eighties, he played bass in a rock band called "Python" and drums in "Hillbilly Fever," a country-rock band.

Brad moved to Pittsburgh in '90 for a mechanical engineering post with Westinghouse designing nuclear reactors. It's fitting that the band he co-formed, originally playing drums then switching to guitar and bass, be called "The Nuclear Blues Band." That group played Pittsburgh clubs/bars from the mid '90s through 2000.

In 2001, he joined a country, gospel group called "The King's Messenger" and played lead guitar, mandolin and banjo.